rachelelaine Member Profile

...See more I've had depression since I was in highschool. now I'm close to graduating college, and everything feels like it's falling apart. I've moved back home, and lost my freedoms. I've gained weight, giving me a worse image of myself. My "friends" disappear when there isn't something for them to gain. I can't get any kind of comfort, phsical or emotional or anything. And to make it worse, my soul mate left me out of the blue recently. He suffers from depression also, and recently got put on 2 different antidepressants. He had been fighting their effects to find closeness with me, and be there for me as much as he could. He was still trying to be sweet. Then one day, he said he didn't know what was wrong with him, but he can't feel the same right now, and he thinks he needs to just move on from me. He asked me when he started the medicine if he lost his way, made a mistake, and left me, would I still be there when he came to his senses? He told me that he knows no one will ever love him the way I do during this conversation. The next time he saw me, he said he wanted to be mine forever. In just a matter of days, it doesn't make any sense that everything could change so drastically. It all just comes together to bring me down further. So far down that I feel like I'm drowning, and I can't function. I can't get any where. It's a struggle to go to work, and when I'm home, I just lay in bed. There's a pain in my chest that consumes everything. I can't eat or sleep without a fight. I'm so lost and don't know what to do anymore... I don't know where to place my hope, and so the future terrifies me. Someone please help

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