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raspberryFig459
265 M Embraced 2
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts32 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes21 Current upvotes21 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2023 Member sinceNovember 3, 2023
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idk how to use this app

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no matter what i do, it’s always the same
Depression Support / by raspberryFig459
Last post
 November 8th, 2023
...See more i'm doomed to be unhappy. no matter how hard i try, no matter how happy i am, i always end up in the same dark place. i want to be happy, yet it seems to be impossible for me to be in good spirits for more than 2 months. it's useless, it's all useless. even if i managed to get through this, it's not like there's a point to it, i’ll just fall into the same headspace again. maybe they don't actually care about me. maybe nobody cares about who i am and if i'm a part of their lives or not. one thing's for certain: trying always seems to be in vain at the end of the day. but at the same time, i have everything anybody my age could want. money, friends, a home, a good enough family. i'm in one of the best high schools in my country. i'm well loved by friends ans family alike. i also have a hole in my heart, *** in all these great things happening in my life, never to be remembered again when i'm in a dark spot. i know i have no reason to be unhappy, as much as i tried to read into my, actually a bit messed up, past, i couldn't find anything that could cause me such great suffering. but i do know that this hole doesn't seem to be "fixable" it seems as though no matter what i do, no matter how many amazing things happen to me, that happiness i'm so desperate to have slips through my fingers like sand. that i could be at the top of the world and still feel miserable.
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I feel like I don’t have enough friends
Friendship Support / by raspberryFig459
Last post
 November 5th, 2023
...See more I started high school in September and I don’t feel like I have enough friends or that we’re close enough. I know it’s only been 2 months and I have 3 amazing friends in my class, but I still feel as though my social life is lacking. I am part of a friend group but most of them are in the same class so I don’t spend that much time with them and I feel pretty left out. I actually feel left out a lot. I’m not introverted, but it’s hard for me to get close to other people. I hate physical touch and I just can’t bring myself to talk about things that concern me. And what sucks the most is that there’s these really nice people that I’d like to get closer to and I don’t know how. And there’s this one girl that managed to get in that friend group already. I just wish I was like her. I know my mentality is *** up, but I have no clue how to fix it. 
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Parents fighting
Family & Caregivers / by raspberryFig459
Last post
 November 6th, 2023
...See more My parents had a very bad argument tonight. I didn’t hear all of it, but they seemed pretty done with each other. They’ve argued really bad before, but they were screaming back then. But tonight, they were calm. I heard something about my dad calling my mom a *** and that he will become indifferent towards her like she is with him. I went downstairs to ask my parents if I can go out tomorrow and my mom said something about our family not being normal anymore. For the first time since I was in kindergarten, I don’t know what’s going to happen to my family. My parents always make up after their fights, but I think this time it’s different.
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