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raspberryLand8003
1 100 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2021 Member sinceJuly 30, 2021
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Still hurting months after breakup
Relationship Stress / by raspberryLand8003
Last post
 July 31st, 2021
...See more I'm 24 male. It's been almost 4 months since I broke up with my first official girlfriend and I am still hurting. We've been broken up for longer than the relationship lasted but I still ruminate about it every day and wish I could be with her again. In the relationship I was experiencing a lot of irrational anxiety which kept building until I panicked and broke up, but I instantly regretted it. I did no contact and made several attempts to reconnect with her and work things out, but I just got ignored and blocked. What sucks is that I've done so much work on myself to overcome my anxiety and avoidant attachment issues, but she refuses to even talk to me and see how I've improved. I've done my absolute best to be respectful to her while also being clear about my feelings, so I feel like I don't deserve to be ignored without even an explanation. I don't want to be angry at her but I feel like that's the only way for me to fully let go. I've tried dating other people since then but I'm not having any luck. Dating apps stress me out a ton and I'm considering just giving up on the whole thing. I feel like I threw away my only chance at finding love and no one will be as good a match for me as my ex was. I don't want to be single for the rest of my life, but I almost think I would be better off that way because breakups are devastating and take a huge toll on my mental health. It was only a 3 month relationship, but I'm still depressed and I can only imagine how broken I would be if I was with someone for over a year. I'm so terrified of breakups and divorce that I want to avoid relationships even more now, but the thought of being single for the rest of my life is scary too.
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