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raspberrySummer5495
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PathStep 45 Compassion hearts20 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2025 Member sinceSeptember 8, 2025
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Bombshell is destroying our marriage
Relationship Stress / by raspberrySummer5495
Last post
 September 9th, 2025
...See more I have been with my husband 5 years and married for 2 years. We have in the past had issues with cheating more towards the beginning of our relationship but over time we have worked on these issues and got to a really good place through a lot of tears, difficult conversations and constant work. About 2 weeks ago my husband dropped a bombshell on me out of the blue. He said that he had been contacted by a 19 year old lad who thought my husband might be his Dad. My husband told me that he had been talking with this lad for around 2 weeks before telling me and he believed that it could very well be true when he had worked out timings etc... This has blown my world apart if i am honest, firstly because i have no children and we both had many discussions where we felt it too late in our lives to have children and i thought i had come to terms with this. Secondly, the fact that he didnt tell me straight away leaves me feeling quite betrayed and shut out. My husband meet with this lad for the first time yesterday and when he got home from spending the day with him, i asked questions because it seems the lad has not long been released from prison for assault, takes drugs, doesnt have a job or a phone. I have calmly tried to request that there be some boundaries like them getting a DNA test prior to developing a bond, and that while this lad is sorting himself out that i dont want any trouble at our door, or drugs and that until the DNA test is done, i would prefer if this lad wasnt in our home.  This is causing massive issues between myself and my husband, he has said that i am bombarding him with questions. expecting him to ask the lad unfair questions and that basically if the DNA test comes back that he is his son that he will never turn his back on him. Am i being unfair feeling so hurt?.....any conversation ends in either cross words or him shutting me down. I feel so selfish because i want to be happy for him if he does have a son but i just want things to go back to normal before this bombshell even happened.
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