redCity290 Member Profile

...See more This girl and I just started dating 3 months ago. Initially things seemed great, but when I asked what her story was as in background, she said she didn't have one and that she was allowed to have her own opinion on the matter. Things progressed and one day she got on me for coughing. I have asthma and pretty bad allergies. The first time I spent the night with her, it was a tough adjustment for my health. Even with cough drops, my inhaler, and everything you could imagine the cough persisted. She grew angry with me and told me I had to stop. That I wouldn't be allowed around her friends because they'd think I have COVID. Some time would pass and she began to show signs of gaslighting. I was questioning her investment in me, whether or not she wanted me, or if I was the only one in this. She said I always made problems from nothing. We have shared the bed and she often wants nothing to do with me. How am I supposed to feel? Loved? Appreciated? I've sent flowers to brighten her day, poems to make her know how I feel, wrote songs for her, have made meals for her to take to work. With each gesture it constantly feels like it's not enough. We recently took a trip together. 3 day cruise for her friend's bday. Her friends family enjoyed me, her friend respected me, and her friends boyfriend commented on how cool I was. My girlfriend decided to yell at me privately for cracking my joints, told me to stop tapping her shoulder to get her attention in loud spaces, and said I wasn't loosening up because I wasn't drinking as much as everyone else. I don't normally drink at all. I don't like the smell or taste of alcohol, and frankly shouldn't that be my choice? We got back from the trip and she says we should get breakfast after picking her dog up from the sitters. We get the dog in the car and I asked if she wanted to drop the dog off first and get the food, or just take the dog to get food with us. She claimed to sarcastically ask me "if I'm asking to get food, what do you think that means". I grew silent, but when she repeated her question expecting a response.. I was hurt. I'm even tempered, I don't lash out, I express my feelings throughout. When telling her how her actions have made me feel, she calls me too sensitive, says that I'm too much at times, even questions my "manlyness". I told her I needed some help. That I was going to therapy to process all of these thoughts and feelings, so that I can handle it appropriately and feel safe talking to her. Here's the kicker, she's a social worker for two hospital emergency rooms. She doesn't take accountability for how her actions have made me feel, or what her words are doing to me. I tell her I cry driving home when she's been cruel and all she says is that it's unfortunate. I'll tell her I'm feeling nauseous (food poisoning) and she calls me dramatic. She's compared me to previous partners saying I'm better than most, says I'll never be better than the men in her life, and I've been here telling her that I'm not trying to be compared to anyone. I'm trying to be me, to be my own man, to own my role in our struggles, and get better for myself. But to her, I struggle with being better than other people in her life. Everyone has told me to walk away. While I'm getting to that point.. I have to know.. am I doing something wrong? I've never shouted at her, told her to stop doing something, or insulted her. I've praised, cared for, appreciated, and done everything imaginable to improve. But these constant behaviors, the way I'm treated, and the way I'm spoken to leave me feeling disregarded, disrespected, and hurt. I have a high tolerance, but this is getting to a point too far.

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