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redGrapes590
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PathStep 4 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2024 Member sinceDecember 20, 2022
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Need some insight
Relationship Stress / by redGrapes590
Last post
 December 20th, 2022
...See more I've been in a 6 year relationship that I ended up being betrayed 2 years into. When i found out he cheated he tried to commit S. This all happened at one time, I was literally suffering with the emotional part of him creating a relationship with someone else while also attending to him at the hospital. He stayed out of it for 3 days and barely could talk but when he did it was all about her, didn't even know who I was. I was heartbroken but couldn't stand to let him be alone(neither of us have family around). When he came home he continued talking to her and ensured the friendship they shared (as he calls it) wasn't damaged. I was left without closure or even consideration; basically told I was crazy, useless and my feelings weren't important(to shut up or stop crying). Time passed and he finally stopped talking to her but continued to entertain other females by flirting around and giving them attention. 4 years later from the betrayal with the added entertaining females and it still circles in my mind when there are triggers(places, music, people, etc). We could never talk about much, I literally lived for this man's attention which I never received until now. Now that I want to leave he finally says he wants to rebuild everything, he's been watching videos and having talks with me to listen to all the things I've held inside and hes revealed things hes never shared. It makes me conflicted because I made up my mind, I feel like it's unfair that he gets to choose after I sacrificed my own feelings back then to "save" the relationship, yet now he's "trying" by putting in the effort...all that i think is that its total BS. I also feel so guilty for feeling that way as i see him actually hurting by me wanting to leave and it doesnt help he suffers from depression. Has anyone went through something similar. Any suggestions for clarity?
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