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reliableFig2082
120 M Embraced 1
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2021 Member sinceOctober 30, 2021
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I’m not doing well
Alcohol & Drug Addiction Support / by reliableFig2082
Last post
 November 4th, 2021
...See more First post. Very bad week. Post starts here. -> I have had an issue with alcohol since I was 20-21. I have had the issue all while having pretty decent jobs that require me to be present, which I have excelled at. I have stayed in school. I had relationship. But I drink alone. It’s 9/10 always wine. Pinot Grigio to be exact. I spoke up about needing help last fall and my family was supportive enough to send me to the best rehab facility in my state. I was sober for those 30 days. I thought it stuck. I made it to 45 days, drank 1 day, then made it 60 days. Since then, I have I have “relapsed” so many times that it not even relapse anymore, it’s the norm. I drink daily. I hate it about myself but I cannot stop. I walk around with enormous guilt for continuing something I know I should stop but somehow can’t. How is this my life now? I recently had blood work done to check my general health but also my liver. Last fall at the rehab facility it was good, normal. I got a call yesterday that my liver enzymes are elevated, and that they are running further tests from the blood they already have. Basically… I think I’m looking at fatty liver disease, liver disease, or cirrhosis. I don’t want to d!e and I am confident I can stop this time. But I am numb right now because I feel like I have blown through all my chances. I may have screwed up big time. I’m disappointed in myself and I’m sad. Just wanted to vent in a community that may understand. Wish me luck.
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