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reliableStrawberries2078
2,172 M Hopeful Heart 3
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts23 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2022 Member sinceApril 18, 2021
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Blended family needs advice
Family & Caregivers / by reliableStrawberries2078
Last post
April 7th, 2022
...See more My (43m) fiance (40f) and I both come into this relationship with boys. Mine just turned 9 and hers will turn 11 this year. They are close. We started living together in November and my son, in his feelings, has felt unhappy because he says she does things that annoy him like entering his room without permission. Constantly arguing with me to the point he feels like he needs to defend me. Yelled at him in anger because she was mad at me from arguing. Protecting her son, but not him from arguing. He made it a point to say “she said please stop arguing infront of my son, but never please stop arguing infront of him”. He understands adults sometimes argue, he says his mom and stepdad argue too and it’s not a big deal to him. He says it just feels bad that she shows her love more to her own son than to him. The big incident that happened was, my ex wife told me that he had told her that he feels neutral about her and doesn’t love her because he doesn’t feel like she loves him. It was so we could fix that but it’s a private conversation for our FYI. I told my partner so she is aware and can do something about it together. I came up with a plan to sit down as a family and ensure him that she does love him and that if he ever felt like she didn’t that she was sorry and then we went around to say 2 things we love about each other. We did that and I thought that was it. We could slowly fix this. instead while I was in a zoom meeting, she started asking him what he said to his mom. That his mom said this and that. I pulled her aside and told her “i thought i told you that was private, you’re not supposed to let him know that you know”. i went back into my zoom calls and again while I was busy I could hear her again doing the same thing. She did it 3 times while I was busy working. I got really upset to the point of yelling. My finance then sends several texts to my ex wife saying my son said this and that. My ex wife was furious. One for breaking trust, two for trying to rub it in her face like she’s a liar. She demanded I bring our son back to her immediately and had forbid her from seeing him. So now when I see my son, which is 3 or 4 times a week we sit in my car or a restaurant for about 6 - 8 hrs before dropping him back off to his moms place. My ex wife says she does not feel safe with our son around her and says its emotional abuse. my fiance thinks our son is just spoiled and my ex wife is crazy. She won’t break up or move out but also won’t get help. She drinks everyday, excessively like 10-12 shots of vodka a day. She says she is getting therapy but I hear her talking to the therapist and she only mentions the bad things she thinks everyone else does and not her own actions.
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She says I'm being crazy. Please be the judge.
Relationship Stress / by reliableStrawberries2078
Last post
October 22nd, 2021
...See more We dated for 1.5 years and broke up. She dated someone else for 3 months and then we got back together. One of the conditions for getting back together was more transparency as she said that she felt I was always hiding my phone. So we now have access to each others phones and we said we have nothing to hide. I told her about a friend that confessed she liked me during our break up and that girl asked me to come over to have sex with her but I told that girl I was still in love with my ex. Anyways I told my ex and she was upset and took my phone and messaged that girl to never talk to me again. Remember I was single at this time so there was no boundaries crossed from the girl or me. I saw her ex, the guy for 3 months, messaged her for sex after he already knew we were back together but she never told me. She tried to hide it from me. She wont talk about it. I also saw messages where she told him stuff about me and they were making fun of me. I asked her about that. She says she wont talk about it and that im being crazy. Other messages about sex where she tells him that hes the best shes ever had, but she says that to me too. And I want to know who shes lying to and why. She says "why does it matter, I chose you. I love you". But she doesnt understand that its affecting my love for her because, and she knows this, I love her desire for me. And if thats fake then this whole relationship is built on a lie. So I need to talk about it. But she just keeps deflecting, calling me crazy, etc. What do you think?
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Chances of getting my ex back?
Relationship Stress / by reliableStrawberries2078
Last post
June 13th, 2021
...See more It's a long story so here's the bullet point version: • ex gf and I broke up and she has a new bf (2 months now) • been trying to get her back since the beginning, at first she didn't care • I changed how I tried to get her back by focusing on attraction instead of being sad • something happened last month and since then we have been having an affair. Both physical and emotional • She gets jealous of other girls I'm talking to so now I dropped them all • She asked me if I love her, I said yes. Asked her back and she said maybe (this is better than last week when she said no) • Told my therapist, who is actually talking to both of us, and asked if she is playing mind games and therapist says she is scared not playing mind games Yes I know we shouldn't be having an affair. I don't need to hear anything negative about that. Because I also know we are meant to be together and if there's a chance I want to give it my all. Sex is a type of love language we share (it is high on both our relationship/love priority list). But I'm always on edge and wondering if anyone has any insight on what you think our chances of getting back together are. If you have been in this situation let me know please.
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Breakup causing actual physical damage?
Relationship Stress / by reliableStrawberries2078
Last post
April 22nd, 2021
...See more I've had a lot of relationships before much longer than my recent one but this time around I miss her so much and have been trying my best to win her back. I am having heart palpitations, sweating in my feet, my left leg is numb, i can't sleep more than 1 hour at a time and when I wake up I'm drenched in sweat. All I can think about is how to win her back and what she's doing at the moment.
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