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rh2001
74 M Embraced
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2021 Member sinceSeptember 22, 2020
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dreading going back to college
Depression Support / by rh2001
Last post
 June 7th, 2021
...See more I'm currently on winter break still, and I have about two weeks left, but it makes me feel physically ill when I think about going back. I consider dropping out everyday but I'm too scared to disappoint people, so it's never a serious thought. I love my family a lot and being around them helps, but they don't really understand what I’m going through and they always somehow make me feel bad about not doing well mentally. My grades are good and everything, but only because I feel so worthless unless I succeed academically. It's about the only thing I have going for me, and I hate everything else about university. I really don't have any good friends there or feel like I have anyone at all. It's my second year, and it's so exhausting to constantly bend my personality to fit the people around me. I've always struggled making friends, and after a year and a half I've pretty much given up. I'm still close to home, but all of my best friends go to other schools and I miss them. My mental health has been on the decline since my senior year of high school, but I just sort of ignored it until now. It feels so impossible to get out of bed sometimes, and no one around me really listens.
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