dreading going back to college
I'm currently on winter break still, and I have about two weeks left, but it makes me feel physically ill when I think about going back. I consider dropping out everyday but I'm too scared to disappoint people, so it's never a serious thought. I love my family a lot and being around them helps, but they don't really understand what I’m going through and they always somehow make me feel bad about not doing well mentally.
My grades are good and everything, but only because I feel so worthless unless I succeed academically. It's about the only thing I have going for me, and I hate everything else about university. I really don't have any good friends there or feel like I have anyone at all. It's my second year, and it's so exhausting to constantly bend my personality to fit the people around me. I've always struggled making friends, and after a year and a half I've pretty much given up.
I'm still close to home, but all of my best friends go to other schools and I miss them. My mental health has been on the decline since my senior year of high school, but I just sort of ignored it until now. It feels so impossible to get out of bed sometimes, and no one around me really listens.
@rh2001
Maybe you're not in the right program. What are you studying? Are you excited about it? Most people go to school to immerse themselves in a particular subject that will turn into some sort of job/vocation. Because...that's really the point of it all (socializing is a bonus).
@UnicornFriend222
Would certainly agree with that.
Hi. I just want to say how important it is to keep doing things which are necessary even during depression. I was in your place, years ago. I stopped attending college and due to that had lot of problems with the college staff and finished my studies late. This never helped me. Isolating myself, closed doors of succeeding in life for me and that made my problems permanent. So i just want to say go on even if it feels hard to do so. It is necessary.
Heya! I'm in the same boat as you. I'm currently doing a masters I'm not entirely passionate about anymore and I miss home and my friends and these past few months have been so hard on me that I want to drop out everyday too. I feel disappointed in myself if I don't succeed academically and I'll feel like I'm a failure to my family which makes me even more insecure about my ability to study my masters. But reading this makes me less alone and less afraid of my own circumstances knowing that there are others out there who feel just as I do and that there is no shame in admitting that truth to myself. Thank you for sharing and if you ever want to talk, I'm happy to chat. I hope we can find the mental and emotional strength and motivation to push through this <3
@rh2001
Heyy, it seems like you've been going through a lot. Sometimes, it's good to have a bit of a break and think about if the things you're doing now will help you achieve the life you dream of. We are humans, I guess. So, it is technically impossible for us to be consistently motivated so it is so good for us to find something we are passionate about which would help increase our motivation significantly.
I hope you get better!! Xx
Here if you need me. ❤️
Go to school online or change schools
Go to school online or change schools
