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scarletApple3048
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts45 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes25 Current upvotes25 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2026 Member sinceMarch 8, 2026
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Hi, I would like to talk about my relationship with the father of my daughter and how to set boundaries with him.
General Support / by scarletApple3048
Last post
 March 11th
...See more Deep down I know he is not the right person for me. I know he is not the love of my life and I honestly don’t see him as my future husband. But we have a very long and complicated history. We were together for three years and during that time many girls contacted me with messages like “you don’t know me but I know you,” implying he was involved with them. Later I got pregnant and went through most of the pregnancy alone. During my pregnancy and after our baby was born, he was seeing another woman. She knew about me, but he somehow manipulated her into believing he was not with me, even though I was pregnant with his child. I found out about that relationship when my daughter was eight months old and we broke up. After that he continued seeing that woman, and I later found out he was also seeing another girl at the same time, cheating on both of them. Meanwhile I stayed focused on my daughter, but the pain of the infidelity, raising my child mostly alone, and feeling abandoned affected me a lot. Eventually he ended things with the woman he cheated on me with and stayed with another girlfriend. Last year he got that girlfriend pregnant. However, during all that time he kept telling me that he loved me, that he was not with her, and that he didn’t love her. At one point, believing he was single, we saw each other again once. Later I found out she was pregnant, and he still insisted he was not with her. After that we did not see each other again except for things related to our daughter. Their baby was born. He promised me many things and said he wanted to try again with me. He even used the argument that “our daughter deserves her parents together.” I do want the best for my daughter, so I considered trying to talk and maybe rebuild something. He spent December with us. But in January he went back to live in the town where this woman lives with their baby. His family has a company there and he works with them, so he moved there saying it was for work and that he had nowhere else to live. He keeps telling me that he is not with her, that he doesn’t love her, and that they don’t even share a space. But honestly I feel that is not true. I don’t have proof, but my intuition and everything I see makes me feel like he is lying. For example, she posted a photo of flowers around Valentine’s Day with a message like “my happiness is you, I love waking up next to you.” I strongly believe that was from him. When he visited recently and I confronted him, he told me I was wrong, that I was being jealous and toxic, and that I should go to therapy. But I don’t feel crazy for thinking this way given our history. The truth is that I don’t even know how to approach this situation anymore. Sometimes it takes away my peace, and sometimes I feel like I don’t care at all. I tried to give this another chance mainly because of our daughter, but I also know everything he has done in the past and I can’t forget it. What I want help with is understanding how to set boundaries with him and emotionally detach, because deep down I know he is not the person for me.
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