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scarletTurtle9604
854 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts23 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2021 Member sinceSeptember 16, 2020
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Dating my former abuser
Trauma Support / by scarletTurtle9604
Last post
 September 17th, 2020
...See more When I was a junior in high school, my closest friend by far told me if I didn't sleep with him, he'd kill himself. I did it because I was scared and had already suffered trauma in the past. The abuse lasted months, and he was extremely manipulative. Whenever I was getting really upset and wanted to stop, he'd blame me for all his problems and say I was being selfish. It only ended because he asked if I would date him, and I said yes because at the time I didn't feel like I had a choice. We're still together about two years after the abuse ended. He's changed massively since then and is now deeply ashamed of what happened at that time. As weird as it seems, I do actually care about him a lot. At the same time, I can't get over what happened. I'm having flashbacks, and I have a really hard time feeling like he cares about me and isn't just being manipulative, no matter how much he's changed. I'm confused and just don't know where to go from here. On top of all that, I really don't think I'm into boys. I wish the relationship hadn't started this way, because maybe we could be together in some universe. But right now I just can't figure it out.
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