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secretSkies2873
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts30 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2021 Member sinceJune 9, 2021
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24/7 Anxiety of me and my GF’s past
Relationship Stress / by secretSkies2873
Last post
 July 18th, 2021
...See more (Posted elsewhere, just trying to reach more) I known her a while before we dated, both had mutual interest but she always said she was fine being single. Eventually, we officially started dating, but it only lasted a month. She didn’t do anything, it was me. I was just overwhelmed by having a relationship and I wanted out of it, I wanted to do my own thing. I still was friends with her, but I even got with someone else when I was single A few months after our breakup, we got back together, and everything is great. I truly am happy with her. Here’s where I really struggle, I’m not exaggerating by saying 24/7 I get anxiety and I question how can I be with her after doing these things, well here we go. The story: We dated for a month, it just wasn’t what I wanted, lots of responsibility, I wasn’t happy. I broke up with her one Friday night, and she got me mad when she wouldn’t leave my apartment. Well, later in the night, she left and I was SO RELIEVED. This is where the other girl comes into play. I went to her place and slept over with her. (Note: one trigger of anxiety right there) I was so relieved I went to bed place because she was a girl I’ve always been friends with and we always hung out before my relationship. I went there strictly to tell her I finally got out and it wasn’t what I wanted. Well, she fell asleep when I was talking, and I didn’t feel like leaving, so I slept in her bed, but I did not sleep anywhere near her, I knew it was wrong but I just wanted to stay there. For the next month, I stayed over a few times, made out and she wasn’t into having sex so that was it. In the moment I would’ve had sex, but I also did tell myself I can’t have sex with her and get with my ex. I truly did not think I was doing anything wrong. I also still hung with my ex, she slept over, we had sex, and still did things together. She knew we weren’t together but I did not want to end our friendship. This takes us to later in that month, the other girl I just didn’t feel like hanging out with, and it was just me and my ex. A few weeks later, we got back together since we were leaving school for the summer. She was upset at first when I told her everything, at one point telling me we’re done. After trying to make things right, she stopped being bothered, realizing I was single and it’s in the past. The l problem is what I did when I was single. I know I was single and it shouldn’t matter, but the gap when I was with someone else after our initial relationship continuously kills me. We’ve talked numerous times and she tells me I can’t let the past affect what we have now, and she’s right. It’s not the thought knowing she’s forgiven me, it’s the thought knowing our timeline was our first relationship, me with someone else, then back to our current relationship. She may of forgiven me, but it doesn’t change the fact it happened. It’s hard giving her all this love knowing what I did to her in the past, and I question my love because I obv didn’t love her when I did these things…. I get upset because what kind of love story is this?
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Anxiety is going to end my great relationship
Relationship Stress / by secretSkies2873
Last post
 July 30th, 2021
...See more I (20M) and my girlfriend (20F) have a great relationship, but I’m having extreme anxiety thinking of our breakup I known her a while before we dated, both had mutual interest but she always said she was fine being single. Eventually, we officially started dating, but it only lasted a month. She didn’t do anything, it was me. I was just overwhelmed by having a relationship and I wanted out of it, I wanted to do my own thing. I still was friends with her, but I even got with someone else when I was single A few months after our breakup, we got back together, and everything is great. I truly am happy with her. Here’s where I really struggle, I’m not exaggerating by saying 24/7 I get anxiety and I question how can I be with her after doing these things, well here we go. The story: We dated for a month, it just wasn’t what I wanted, lots of responsibility, I wasn’t happy. I broke up with her one Friday night, and she got me mad when she wouldn’t leave my apartment. Well, later in the night, she left and I was SO RELIEVED. This is where the other girl comes into play. I went to her place and slept over with her. (Note: one trigger of anxiety right there) I was so relieved I went to bed place because she was a girl I’ve always been friends with and we always hung out before my relationship. I went there strictly to tell her I finally got out and it wasn’t what I wanted. Well, she fell asleep when I was talking, and I didn’t feel like leaving, so I slept in her bed, but I did not sleep anywhere near her, I knew it was wrong but I just wanted to stay there. For the next month, I stayed over a few times, made out and she wasn’t into having sex so that was it. In the moment I would’ve had sex, but I also did tell myself I can’t have sex with her and get with my ex. I truly did not think I was doing anything wrong. I also still hung with my ex, she slept over, we had sex, and still did things together. She knew we weren’t together but I did not want to end our friendship. This takes us to later in that month, the other girl I just didn’t feel like hanging out with, and it was just me and my ex. A few weeks later, we got back together since we were leaving school for the summer. She was upset at first when I told her everything, at one point telling me we’re done. After trying to make things right, she stopped being bothered, realizing I was single and it’s in the past. The l problem is what I did when I was single. I know I was single and it shouldn’t matter, but the gap when I was with someone else after our initial relationship continuously kills me. We’ve talked numerous times and she tells me I can’t let the past affect what we have now, and she’s right. It’s not the thought knowing she’s forgiven me, it’s the thought knowing our timeline was our first relationship, me with someone else, then back to our current relationship. She may of forgiven me, but it doesn’t change the fact it happened. It’s hard giving her all this love knowing what I did to her in the past, and I question my love because I obv didn’t love her when I did these things…. I get upset because what kind of love story is this?
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24/7 Anxiety that is affecting me and my relationship
Anxiety Support / by secretSkies2873
Last post
 July 18th, 2021
...See more I known her a while before we dated, both had mutual interest but she always said she was fine being single. Eventually, we officially started dating, but it only lasted a month. She didn’t do anything, it was me. I was just overwhelmed by having a relationship and I wanted out of it, I wanted to do my own thing. I still was friends with her, but I even got with someone else when I was single A few months after our breakup, we got back together, and everything is great. I truly am happy with her. Here’s where I really struggle, I’m not exaggerating by saying 24/7 I get anxiety and I question how can I be with her after doing these things, well here we go. The story: We dated for a month, it just wasn’t what I wanted, lots of responsibility, I wasn’t happy. I broke up with her one Friday night, and she got me mad when she wouldn’t leave my apartment. Well, later in the night, she left and I was SO RELIEVED. This is where the other girl comes into play. I went to her place and slept over with her. (Note: one trigger of anxiety right there) I was so relieved I went to bed place because she was a girl I’ve always been friends with and we always hung out before my relationship. I went there strictly to tell her I finally got out and it wasn’t what I wanted. Well, she fell asleep when I was talking, and I didn’t feel like leaving, so I slept in her bed, but I did not sleep anywhere near her, I knew it was wrong but I just wanted to stay there. For the next month, I stayed over a few times, made out and she wasn’t into having sex so that was it. In the moment I would’ve had sex, but I also did tell myself I can’t have sex with her and get with my ex. I truly did not think I was doing anything wrong. I also still hung with my ex, she slept over, we had sex, and still did things together. She knew we weren’t together but I did not want to end our friendship. This takes us to later in that month, the other girl I just didn’t feel like hanging out with, and it was just me and my ex. A few weeks later, we got back together since we were leaving school for the summer. She was upset at first when I told her everything, at one point telling me we’re done. After trying to make things right, she stopped being bothered, realizing I was single and it’s in the past. The l problem is what I did when I was single. I know I was single and it shouldn’t matter, but the gap when I was with someone else after our initial relationship continuously kills me. We’ve talked numerous times and she tells me I can’t let the past affect what we have now, and she’s right. It’s not the thought knowing she’s forgiven me, it’s the thought knowing our timeline was our first relationship, me with someone else, then back to our current relationship. She may of forgiven me, but it doesn’t change the fact it happened. It’s hard giving her all this love knowing what I did to her in the past, and I question my love because I obv didn’t love her when I did these things…. I get upset because what kind of love story is this?
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Is my relationship ruined forever because of my past mistakes ?
Relationship Stress / by secretSkies2873
Last post
 June 19th, 2021
...See more Basically a few months ago I broke up with my girlfriend. It was my first relationship and basically it just hit me because I never had one and I quit. And when I broke up with her she kept begging me to stay and I treated her like shit. Also I started hanging out with my one friend and we slept over a few times and made out, that’s it. A month later I just realized how I was wrong about everything, me and my ex got back together and things are tough for us but we’re getting through it. In my mind I feel like because of my past actions of hurting her we’ll never have the same relationship we once had, and it’ll never be as pure as others. Is this true or will we get through this ? I have a couple questions I hope you guys can help me with. 1. Will our relationship ever go back to how it was before ? 2. Is our relationship tainted forever ? 3. Is our love we show fake because of my mistakes I made when we broke up ? 4. How/will we both forgive my mistakes and move on one day ?
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I don’t know if my relationship can ever be fixed
Relationship Stress / by secretSkies2873
Last post
 June 13th, 2021
...See more I’ve know my girlfriend for a year. We finally started dating in February. It was my first relationship of my life. Everything was great but a month in everything hit. I got scared of being in a relationship since everything was new to me and I panicked and broke up with her in March. Now that night, all of our friends are were yelling at me (and rightfully so), so later on I went to my neighbors (college apartment neighbor) who is a girl to talk. I needed someone to talk to and she was the only one that would listen. I ended up staying the night because she ended up falling asleep during me talking and I was like wtf I guess I’ll go to sleep there instead of going home. Nothing happened, nothing. I understand how fucked that is going over there, there’s no excuse break up with my girlfriend and sleeping over another girls place (I shouldn’t of gone in the first place, and I definitely shouldn’t of stayed) In April, since me and my neighbor were friends, I stayed over a couple weeks later 2 times and we made out but nothing else (I slept over one time before me and my girlfriend were even talking but still I never had sex with this girl). I was still talking to my ex, as I wanted to remain friends with her after we broke up because I knew deep down I wanted her, I was just scared of a relationship since it was my first. There were times we had sex and she slept over, and I realize doing that with her and sleeping over my neighbors at the same time is completely messed up Towards the end of April I fully realized how I love my ex girlfriend and cut off my neighbor completely, and in the beginning of May, me and my ex were official again. Before we got together, I told her how I slept at my neighbors, and she was upset but said it’s in the past. Yesterday, we were talking about the past, and I brought up my neighbor and that exact situation how I regret sleeping over there and making out with her later on in April. My girlfriend ended up misunderstanding that situation that I told her before we got together, (as she thought this all happened before we were dating) and she said we’re done. I ended up driving a couple hours to see her and we talked it out, she said she needs to regain trust in me to keep this relationship. She’s 100% correct, I shouldn’t of went to a girl to talk when we broke up and I shouldn’t of stayed the night the first time. I shouldn’t of slept at my neighbors later on 2 times and making out with her (yes I was single but it still wasn’t right and I have to live with myself). I truly realized how much I love this girl in May and that’s why I got back with her because I want to be with her forever. I don’t know how I can live with myself knowing I hurt her by breaking up with her, and making out with another girl when we were broken up. TLDR: I’m not asking for forgiveness, I messed up. I will die by loyalty, I never done anything bad when we were dating, this all happened during a month we were broken up. I just need advice on how we can make this work and how I can tell myself I need to forgive myself. Thank you.
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Me (20M) doesn’t know how to fix my relationship and keep going with my (20F) girlfriend
Relationship Stress / by secretSkies2873
Last post
 June 17th, 2021
...See more I know this is long, but I’m coming here because I really need advice for my sake in the relationship, and my sake mentally. I’ve know my girlfriend for a year. We finally started dating in February. It was my first relationship of my life. Everything was great but a month in everything hit. I got scared of being in a relationship since everything was new to me and I panicked and broke up with her in March. Now that night, all of our friends are were yelling at me (and rightfully so), so later on I went to my neighbors (college apartment neighbor) who is a girl to talk. I needed someone to talk to and she was the only one that would listen. I ended up staying the night because she ended up falling asleep during me talking and I was like wtf I guess I’ll go to sleep there instead of going home. Nothing happened, nothing. I understand how fucked that is going over there, there’s no excuse break up with my girlfriend and sleeping over another girls place (I shouldn’t of gone in the first place, and I definitely shouldn’t of stayed) In April, since me and my neighbor were friends, I stayed over a couple weeks later 2 times and we made out but nothing else (I slept over one time before me and my girlfriend were even talking but still I never had sex with this girl). I was still talking to my ex, as I wanted to remain friends with her after we broke up because I knew deep down I wanted her, I was just scared of a relationship since it was my first. There were times we had sex and she slept over, and I realize doing that with her and sleeping over my neighbors at the same time is completely messed up Towards the end of April I fully realized how I love my ex girlfriend and cut off my neighbor completely, and in the beginning of May, me and my ex were official again. Before we got together, I told her how I slept at my neighbors, and she was upset but said it’s in the past. Yesterday, we were talking about the past, and I brought up my neighbor and that exact situation how I regret sleeping over there and making out with her later on in April. My girlfriend ended up misunderstanding that situation that I told her before we got together, (as she thought this all happened before we were dating) and she said we’re done. I ended up driving a couple hours to see her and we talked it out, she said she needs to regain trust in me to keep this relationship. She’s 100% correct, I shouldn’t of went to a girl to talk when we broke up and I shouldn’t of stayed the night the first time. I shouldn’t of slept at my neighbors later on 2 times and making out with her (yes I was single but it still wasn’t right and I have to live with myself). I truly realized how much I love this girl in May and that’s why I got back with her because I want to be with her forever. I don’t know how I can live with myself knowing I hurt her by breaking up with her, and making out with another girl when we were broken up. TLDR: I’m not asking for forgiveness, I messed up. I will die by loyalty, I never done anything bad when we were dating, this all happened during a month we were broken up. I just need advice on how we can make this work and how I can tell myself I need to forgive myself. Thank you.
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