Is my relationship ruined forever because of my past mistakes ?
Basically a few months ago I broke up with my girlfriend. It was my first relationship and basically it just hit me because I never had one and I quit. And when I broke up with her she kept begging me to stay and I treated her like shit. Also I started hanging out with my one friend and we slept over a few times and made out, that’s it. A month later I just realized how I was wrong about everything, me and my ex got back together and things are tough for us but we’re getting through it. In my mind I feel like because of my past actions of hurting her we’ll never have the same relationship we once had, and it’ll never be as pure as others. Is this true or will we get through this ? I have a couple questions I hope you guys can help me with. 1. Will our relationship ever go back to how it was before ? 2. Is our relationship tainted forever ? 3. Is our love we show fake because of my mistakes I made when we broke up ? 4. How/will we both forgive my mistakes and move on one day ?
@secretSkies2873,
I wouldn't put too much emphasis on your, fully understandable questions.
1. No, good relationships are not cast in stone. If all involved in a relship are able to get through hard times, a relship might actually become stronger
2. Only if you want/permit it to be tainted
3. Only if you want/permit it to be fake
4. Forgiveness is understanding. That is not a guarantee though that a relship survives. You can f.i. forgive someone having been unfaithful, however that could still be the end of a relship
Communicate in such a way that you really listen to your partner, and give feedback to check whether you did understand your partner. We all too often assume, or hear what we (don't) want to hear. Be open, be honest. And understanding is not agreeing, it is respecting someone else's point of view, whether you agree or not.
Well, I'm going through a breakup as well, so ..I have experience, but I've been reading and i think i might have a point of view 1. No , your relationship will not get back as how it was before BUT that's precisely the point, it can improve, it can get better if you both acknowledge your faults and move on without using the breakup as a weapon against each other 2. You can both talk about it if you like with respect and care, good communication is the basis to love 3. Look deep inside and ask yourself is my love fake? Also look at her actions to see if with her actions she shows love to you, a relationship is made by 2 , so both need to be in love 4. You have to forgive yourself first and also her, love deserve second chances, but not in all cases, if there was humiliations, mistreatements, harsh words, physical violence, gaslighting, etc, then no, that doesn't deserve a second chance , hope you like this , if not feel free to comment
Thank you for this. It’s why she’s giving me a second chance, there was never any cheating in the relationship or any abuse, it’s just me breaking up with her and hanging out with another girl that I think will always affect it. One thing I get upset about is I’ll see TikToks of couples and how happy and good their relationship is and I get sad thinking mine will never be that pure because of the past mistakes.
As for the tik tok couples, i wouldn't focus too much on them..you see..they are humans too and most of the time they post only what they want the world to see, not the struggles or the "behind the scenes" hey , even posting on social media photos with your partner is not a sign of fidelity, there's this man that has his profile plastered with photos of him and her wife smiling and traveling..but he sends messages to a lot of girls, including me, that's why I know about it .. You get my point.. focus on yourself and how to love yourself to give a good love quality to your significant other
@secretSkies2873,
" I think will always affect it ". If this is what you think then yes, it will always affect it. It's called a
self-fulfilling prophecy. Or, even better, fear. Don't let fear rule, ever.