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selfdisciplinedWatermelon5388
1,349 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts21 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes13 Current upvotes13 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2018 Member sinceApril 30, 2017
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Anxiety Over Career Opportunity and Potential Consequences
Anxiety Support / by selfdisciplinedWatermelon5388
Last post
 July 2nd, 2017
...See more Hi, everyone: I feel like I am in a very stressful position. Let me start from the beginning... I graduated six years ago with my Master's degree yet couldn't find a job that matched my credentials or experience. I have come close to many, but have not yet been successful. Since then, I have been working as an administrative assistant at a good and reputable organization. Its mission is somewhat related to my field, but there are very few opportunities for growth if you don't have training in its main mandate. The benefits are also very attractive. Still, I have been underpaid for someone with a Master's degree and I have often times felt frustrated for the lack of growth and being underchallenged. I have stayed in the job because I found ways to make my duties relevant to my long-term goals. However, two weeks ago, I received a job offer from my dream organization, a very high-profile company. I didn't apply for this particular job... I had put my credentials in a recruitment pool and they got back to me months later with an offer. The pros include it being a couple of grades higher than my current job, so that means its higher pay (actually one year's pay at my current job is equal to half a year with this opportunity); it actually recognizes my advanced education; and the experience would be invaluable. The major con is that it's only six months. Plus, it's an international assignment based in East Africa, which I don't really mind since the location is pretty safe. But I would be wary of spending a super extended amount of time abroad (more than a year). Extensions are not guaranteed, but possible. I have spoken to folks that have held similar contracts globally with this organization and they say they were able to move on to over contracts within days or weeks of the end of the previous ones. Still, nothing is guaranteed. Do I leave a stable job for something uncertain? I have lived in my current city for ten years... I went to grad school there and then found work there. Do I leave comfort and familiarity for the unknown? Perhaps I've played it too safe these past years. Comfort has stumped my growth. Maybe taking this risk is the exact thing I need to get ahead and move forward? Ideally, I would take the opportunity and work for this organization for the six months and get another opportunity afterward so that all together I have a year or year and a half's worth of exerience. I hope to be able to move back to this city. It's a place of positive growth and full of opportunities--even though I had years of struggle trying to find a more suitable job. Maybe it was just my luck. In any case, I am hoping somehow this experience abroad will help land better opportunities in the future. This has been the most difficult decision I've had to make. I feel like I would not only be giving up a stable job, but my apartment (I won't be able to sublet and would have to pack up and put my things in storage), and a city filled with good friends. I leave comfort for the field. The majority in my trusted circle say go for it. My bosses even encourage it. They even said they would hire me back if needed (as long as there were vacancies). I am 30 and don't have kids. I do have a great (and supportive) boyfriend; and although my family is miles away, they too back me in whatever I decide. I still worry though... what if I can't secure an extension or another position after the six months? I could always pass, hoping that another opportunity would come, but that also is a risk. You would think that having been in this city for ten years, I have built good networks and contacts to ensure I could return with a job and be able to rebuild. But how do you explian the difficulty I had the past five/six years trying to find a better job? What is six months going to change? Will the brand name of the organization and its intense duties be enough to propel me to security? I wish I could be more excited and certain about this opportunity, but because of the uncertainty related to the duration, I still a great heaviness. Thanks for reading!
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After a three-year relationship, he broke up with me out of the blue!
Relationship Stress / by selfdisciplinedWatermelon5388
Last post
 May 13th, 2017
...See more My boyfriend of almost three years just broke up with me... four hours ago. He was visiting (we've been long distance for a year), in town for work from an assignment abroad. He will be back in a few months, by the way. We've been making it work well. Lots of communication, trust, and he also gets to travel back home more than five times a year. We would spend hours on the phone with each other. And a day wouldn't go by where we didn't text one another. The assignment has been difficult, and at times, he credited me for being there to support him, to keep him going. He had a health scare prior to his move, which I was also there to help him with. We had been together through thick and thin. We had been planning our summer trip together too. Anyway, everything between us seemed well. He came for work as usual. This was not his first visit back. He had been super busy for the past two weeks, and couldn't spend a whole lot of time with me, but he would at least call or text to let me know what he was doing. We had lunches and dinners whenever possible. It was a bit frustrating for me, not being able to see him while he was here, but I understood what he had on his plate. Today was his last day in town. We had brunch together and did a bit of shopping before his flight. Everything was rosy. He caressed my knees while driving and clutched my arms while we were walking around the mall. As he was driving me home, he dropped the bomb. He apologized for not being able to spend a lot of time with me during this visit... and he said he didn't want to make me sad in not being there, but at the same time, he didn't want me to be sad if he got out of the relationship. We were three minutes from the house when he told me this. I felt like my whole world collapsed. I didn't know what to say. I vowed to be better in whatever way(s) I could. I promised to go at a pace good for him. He just wasn't feeling it. I didn't want to keep him from catching his plane, so out of anger and frustration, I got up and left, slammed the door of the car and rushed inside the house. He went to the airport. I feel empty without the one person what meant everything to me. I'm so anxious. I don't understand why this is happening. It totally sucks that I am head over heels for him, and it seems like he just doesn't feel the same. I turned my phone off and deactivated my social media. I don't want any reminders of him. I just need to breathe right now. Going into no contact... Any advice? What is he thinking? What should I do moving forward?
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