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sensitivePlane7559
163 M Embraced 1
PathStep 11 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2022 Member sinceSeptember 1, 2022
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Addicted to Meth, Alcohol, and my Ex....
Addiction Support / by sensitivePlane7559
Last post
 March 6th, 2023
...See more I'm still smoking meth, dri king, and contacting my ex daily. I have been hiding my meth addiction and talking to my ex for about 2 weeks now. I am working again though. I hope I can quit all of it soon, and still be able to work and keep my job at the same time. I've failed already so many times. This is my last chance, and my oldest is about to turn 18, and I'm hoping she will come live with me . If I can't get my shit together in 2 months, and she's sees what I've been up to, I'm scared ill lose her forever. I want to quit so bad, I go to sleep every night, hoping and thinking , tomorrow's gonna be the day, but when I wake up, I'm so tired, can't hardly move, no motivation, instant hopelessness, and the only thing I want to do, the only thing that snaps me out of all of that and helps me function and get through my everyday life, is to smoke a bowl. I've got responsibilities, work, no other choice, but to get up every day and do what I have to do to survive. Other wise I'll be homeless, I can't sleep for a month and heal and all that bullshit. It's too late for me now. I ruined every opportunity I had in the past to do that. I don't want this anymore though. I just want to be normal again. I want my kids to be in my life . I want to be a good person that works every day and has a car and my own place. I want help. I want rehab, but where I live, there's no public transportation, I have no car, I don't know anyone out here with a car, no friends , it's the country. Everything is far far away, and I don't have any insurance either. Anyways, I know I'm just making excuses. But I really don't know what to do anymore. I feel beyond hopeless. 😪
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