Addicted to Meth, Alcohol, and my Ex....
I'm still smoking meth, dri king, and contacting my ex daily. I have been hiding my meth addiction and talking to my ex for about 2 weeks now. I am working again though. I hope I can quit all of it soon, and still be able to work and keep my job at the same time. I've failed already so many times. This is my last chance, and my oldest is about to turn 18, and I'm hoping she will come live with me . If I can't get my shit together in 2 months, and she's sees what I've been up to, I'm scared ill lose her forever. I want to quit so bad, I go to sleep every night, hoping and thinking , tomorrow's gonna be the day, but when I wake up, I'm so tired, can't hardly move, no motivation, instant hopelessness, and the only thing I want to do, the only thing that snaps me out of all of that and helps me function and get through my everyday life, is to smoke a bowl. I've got responsibilities, work, no other choice, but to get up every day and do what I have to do to survive. Other wise I'll be homeless, I can't sleep for a month and heal and all that bullshit. It's too late for me now. I ruined every opportunity I had in the past to do that. I don't want this anymore though. I just want to be normal again. I want my kids to be in my life . I want to be a good person that works every day and has a car and my own place. I want help. I want rehab, but where I live, there's no public transportation, I have no car, I don't know anyone out here with a car, no friends , it's the country. Everything is far far away, and I don't have any insurance either. Anyways, I know I'm just making excuses. But I really don't know what to do anymore. I feel beyond hopeless. 😪
@sensitivePlane7559
Hello,
I appreciate you being vulnerable and sharing with us.
I know that isn’t any easy thing to do.
It’s evident that you want to take the steps to quit your addictions.
It’s not an easy journey and the path isn’t always linear.
You are trying and that’s all that matters.
We are here to support you in your journey<3
Sending best wishes. 💛✨
I’m not here to be rude or come off mean but my mom was the same way
but instead of trying she lost everything
6 kids
her job
she’s homeless
its like she chose to quit on us
you don’t seem like a mom to do that
you want your daughter to stay prove it
Bc I wished my mom did
and I’ve hated her since
I believe you’ve got it
@funnyPal8307
went thru the same thing wit my bf he bailed on me and our 2 newborns for drugs, i know how it feels and im so sorry u went thru that.
Sorry to hear you're struggling.
I know exactly what and how you are going through for that was and still a little bit of my story. I never saw myself get any better or out of the *** with in myself . I finally humbled my self and accept I need help not just with my using but with me , I was desperately looking for help and could not take no as the answer. I told myself if I worked as hard as I did to hide lie find and stay high if I put in just half of that work to get a way out something would work out