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shyBlueberry4310
83 M Embraced
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2022 Member sinceJune 10, 2022
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I have selective mutism and social anxiety disorder
Anxiety Support / by shyBlueberry4310
Last post
 August 27th, 2022
...See more Even writing here under an anonymous username makes me anxious.. Hope I’m in the right place! I’m an adult with selective mutism and social anxiety disorder. I was in my late teens when I was diagnosed. I’m unable to communicate well in any form; group settings, one-on-one, on a call, and yes, writing is all too much for me. Maybe from disuse, but I’m now unable to articulate my thoughts effectively. My vocab feels limited and, when I write, I’m either short or long-winded. It caused me to drop out of high school. It’s crippling. I try my best to be sociable when spoken to and pretend this doesn’t affect me, but it’s very evident. 9/10 times people assume I don’t understand because of how little I talk and how much help I need in social situations. I myself don’t feel like I have a good grasp on so many things. I’m easily confused when trying to battle my anxiety and deal with something. But I am able to learn. It makes me feel childish and I feel I’m very low-functioning, which is a challenge because I have no one to rely on (despite being under guardianship—possibly a whole other story) and need to work to support myself. By some miracle, and I’m sooo thankful for this, I do have a part-time job. They pride themselves on being inclusive and progressive. I started with volunteering and they wanted to hire me. However, I’m asked repeatedly to communication more, but it doesn’t seem I’m able to. I worry I could lose my job. I haven’t had friends or therapy in YEARS. Therapists have actually refused to see me because of my inability to talk.. So that’s what brought me here. I’m hoping to ease some of this anxiety and learn some skills to help me communicate/connect with people. Maybe make some friends, who knows! Please be understanding if I take forever to reply. That’s part of what I’m struggling with.
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