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shyNectarine8854
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts14 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2025 Member sinceJuly 16, 2025
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Struggling with career
ADHD Support / by shyNectarine8854
Last post
 August 9th, 2025
...See more Hii i have adhd, it's undiagnosed, i have struggled with studies since childhood, I'm not lazy or careless infact i worry about so much, I'm very anxious, i overthink a lot, I'm perfectionist too, always behind , messy room, high rejection sensitivity so i reject myself, as a kid I used to day dream a lot never realised it was part of adhd , as teen I was depressed didn't know major cause of adhd , now I'm 18 in my 1st year engineering, my 1st year finals are going on i can't study i can't focus all I do is cry, i don't have anyone in person who understands the struggle of adhd and i feel so alone, i have sat infront of books for hrs but studied ntg just criticized myself, i know i need to heal give myself self love but time the exams it's not going to wait for my healing, I was already carrying too much upon that my dad passed away now financially struggling and I'm failing in exams disappointing my mom, i want to escape this reality right now I'm supposed to study i got important exam but i can't focus i can't stop being negative, i don't know if I'm playing victim in my mind reminding myself all the bad things happen to me but it's also true that i can't focus i have no choice of freedom to explore my career i just feel stuck, i want to quit engineering but as I was always depressed i don't what else should I do, only thing i have done all my life is isolated and cried , i feel heavy i wish i could study like normal people so that i don't be a disappointment to my mom I just feel bad and stuck i feel worth less careless i honestly wish someone could show me path like what should I do how do I live life before I was suicidal before during my 10 grade but I want to live but it's more worse than anything else right now My inner voice says don't stress yourself too much but other voice says your just lazy don't want to do hard work you just want give up I wish somebody could silence my thoughts I don't want to hear my thoughts Everything is so hard I speak all this i feel I'm manifesting negative stuff but I'm not able to be positive and kind to myself
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