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shyNorth67
1 100 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2021 Member sinceJanuary 19, 2021
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Not the same after break up
Relationship Stress / by shyNorth67
Last post
 January 20th, 2021
...See more Hi I’m new to this but I just need an outsiders perspective. I was in a relationship of 7 years with my ex-boyfriend. We started dating when I was 19. We were on the verge of getting engaged and I was going through a lot emotionally: family deaths and parents divorce. I was all over the place and I freaked out and broke up with him. We went though a lot in our 7 years. I guess I ended it because I always had the “what if” questions in my mind. What if I’m just in this because he’s all I’ve ever known? What if there’s more out there for me? What if he’s not the one? What if it was wrong for me to stay after he cheated? What if I’m just in it because I’m comfortable? What if I’m just in it because I’m scared of being alone? I was happy in that relationship but I was always afraid of staying because of comfortability. I thought I needed to find who I was without him. He helped shape me into who I became and I didn’t know life without him. He was my best friend and for a long time I thought he was end game. Fast forward a year and half later: I’m with someone else who I’m also happy with and I love but my mind keeps going back to my ex. I keep thinking back on him and our life together. Now my “what if” questions are: What if I made the biggest mistake of my life? What if he was the one and I ruined everything? What if I’ll never feel as comfortable without him in my life? What if I can’t ever get fully over him? I’m so confused and I find myself so depressed sometimes thinking about what I used to have with my ex. But I’m also happy when I’m with my current boyfriend. I don’t know if it’s due to the amount of time spent with my ex but I just feel like I’ll never get over these feelings. It’s a constant in the back of my head. I know I did this to myself which makes me feel even worse. Idk what to do I need to talk to someone.
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