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sidyphus
1 303 M Embraced 2
PathStep 41 Compassion hearts20 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2026 Member sinceJune 18, 2026
Bio

american right to die advocate #letsgonetherlands

Recent forum posts
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conflicts with my mother
General Support / by sidyphus
Last post
 June 19th
...See more my mom keeps insisting that i “do things for her”, when i feel almost catatonic most of the time lately. like she wants me to eat “for her”, find a therapist “for her”, etc, but im just so exhausted, and now there’s this added shame of letting down my mom. she means well and these are all things i should do but they are a lot more difficult for me than i think she can understand. we’ve had these discussions time and time again, and i’m just so. tired. i’m also shy to suggest the idea of PHP or inpatient treatment because we just went on an expensive trip for my sister’s graduation. i don’t even think we have health insurance right now. i just know the treatment that might actually get through to me is going to cost us an arm and a leg, and i know it’s the depression talking but i just can’t see that being worth it.
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debating autonomy
Depression Support / by sidyphus
Last post
 June 19th
...See more i’ve been struggling with some deep existential depression. i don’t feel sad really but i think if you really don’t want to live, you shouldn’t have to. the general rule is that people who claim they don’t want to live are “not in the right headspace to make that decision”, but at what point are you in the right headspace? it doesn’t exist, because a good doctor wouldn’t allow a healthy person to die. biologically you shouldn’t, like your body works reaaally hard to keep itself alive all the time. but at the same time i feel like we were never meant to be where we are now, eating trash in shitville. the basic fundamentals of living feel so irrelevant in the noise we created ourselves and the life i want to live does not exist. there’s no way to escape the mundane… i mean i could think of one option, but nobody likes that option. you say you’re not happy with what you’re served and you are strapped to that dinner table and forced to finish it. therapists will ask me things like, “what would make the next 24 hours easier for you?” and it sounds to me like “what sort of juice would make the everclear go down smoother?”. i don’t live a hard life at all. i just live and wish someone else could do it for me. i wish they could offer MAID to people who are serious. i wish i could go back to before i was born and savor not being anything at all for just a moment longer.
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