sincereGrapefruit5250 Member Profile

...See more I have got to a point where I'm really struggling. I have unresolved grief from when my mum died last year from cancer. The end was very long and painful for her and very traumatic to watch as Dad and I were allowed to stay with her as she died. If I'm honest I don't think I dealt with it well, pushed on through and tried to fake normality for the benefit of my family. This caused its own set of problems. I became detached from my grief and my husband and this has caused me a lot of unhappiness which i also ignored in the hope it would go away. Fast forward to beginning of 2021 my dad was diagnosed with cancer but thankfully caught early and deemed curable however 13 days ago he had a stroke and is in hospital. I am currently signed off from work so I can visit him (1hr a day and only 1 designated visitor per patient). He's going through so much and unfortunately his mental health is suffering from the implications of the stroke. He is very emotional and distressed and this is also very traumatic for me. I feel helpless and useless. On Saturday I had a bit of a breakdown and I have not really stopped crying since. I told my husband I no longer loved him which has been bubbling under the surface for a long time. This is obviously now causing him distress and I feel guilty and ashamed that I feel this way. I'm having problems working out if my feelings are real or based on detachment from past and present events. I feel so lost and don't know what to do. I've contacted the doctor for help, I don't really know what kind of help I need. Any comments or suggestions welcome and thank you

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