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sincerelyme22
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2022 Member sinceApril 19, 2022
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I Don’t Know What To Do At This Point
Relationship Stress / by sincerelyme22
Last post
 April 23rd, 2022
...See more Hey Loved Ones …. Let me start by saying this is my first thread and I am so very grateful that this app is even a thing … because just when I felt alone I started searching for help and this app came .. So thank you to the creators … So about my relationship .. He and I have been together for 5 years this October … Prior to the relationship he and I were friends… It was obvious we liked each other but we were always friends…. Early in the friendship because we met online , he expressed that he wasn’t looking for a relationship and i accepted that .. A few months down the line , i ended up going to vegas and met a cute samoan guy that i was super into … shortly after that trip my boyfriend said he wanted to be in a relationship… At that point I had already moved on and then shortly after so did he .. We were friends until he got into a relationship because she cut off all his friends because she didn’t trust him (wonder why) … I hate to be mean but he wasn’t attracted to her and he said he only got with her as rebound when i rejected him … But in general i feel like that relationship affected him … Moving on , they break up 5 months later .. Then a couple months after that he comments on my instagram post because i guess he unblocked everyone she blocked …. And it was like no time had passed .. We went back to friends and then eventually in a relationship… At first he was saying the same thing except that he wasn’t ready for anything serious because of what he had just gotten out of … I accepted it but then once again he changed his mind .. Only difference was I didn’t move on this time … Fast forward … Literally EVERYTHING else in our relationship is GREAT , hun and my family , the chemistry , the intimacy , hun as a person with people and kids, the laughs , the music .. Im a singer and he’s a writer …. The only thing that’s messed up about him are his insecurities and his cheating ….. So that’s what happened .. He cheated .. When i found out , he begged me to stay and I did .. Months later we moved to the bay area together , we’re from Los Angeles … And out there it got sooo much worse… i literally felt like i was with two different people , because with me he was perfect .. but whenever he felt the need for instant gratification or to feel better about himself he would text someone , mostly text , but sometimes it would lead to more … then in those moments he was no longer perfect because it would affect home .. I’ve found him on countless apps , sounding so lame and not like the sophisticated , intelligent man i know him to be . I have a huge understanding of his background and how he grew up and the mental , physical and verbal abuse he received from his parents … And what’s crazy is , i can say the same about them … They have all those issues but are still great people , I don’t get it …. So throughout the relationship, I’ve been happy because I love him and when we’re good , it’s the best feeling in the WORLD … but in the bay we went through hell … he was messing with older women , one of them was bat shit crazy , claimed to be pregnant , popped up at his job and all … yet i was strong and got through it all .. in the bay we went from living on frat row , to college apartments , to roommates .. Part of me feels like he resented me .. because his parents were taking care of his living at first , but when they found out i was living with him everything changed and he had to grow up and we had to handle the finances .. and at first he was good with it but i feel like as time went on he felt a way … even though he hated being under his parents control …. There’s so much i could say about how our roommates played a role in the crap in our relationship … but This has been so long already , the bottom line is .. We’re back in LA , and he’s trying to be better now , but I just can’t seem to trust him or fully forgive him .. And because of that we argue and have issues , and then i feel more hurt because i’m dealing with the pain of the past and him not being able to just be humble in the moment … And i feel like i can’t always express my feelings without him feeling a way about it . But i love him and don’t know what to do anymore besides what i’ve been doing .
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