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sinflowr
93 M Embraced 1
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2019 Member sinceDecember 31, 2017
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How to fix "eating disorder" myself? If I even have one?
Eating Disorder Support / by sinflowr
Last post
 January 2nd, 2018
...See more hello (: I feel kind of lost and stuck. I'm not even sure how I feel. It's like, I do want to recover, but then again, what am I even recovering from?? I don't believe I have an eating disorder but I want to fix my disordered eating habits because I cannot stand this cycle anymore. I think my food issues have stemmed from a formerly obese childhood. I tend to binge, purge, and restrict a lot, but I don't necessarily believe I have an eating disorder. Mainly because I have never been diagnosed with one and I have never really been assessed for one. I would really like to continue losing the weight though. But also I want to stop. I'm 16 years old, about 5'6 and fluctuate around [edited by Anomalia to remove weight speifics]. but I really want to get down to [edited] lbs. I cannot stand the feeling of guilt that settles in once I realize there is food sitting in my stomach and I haven't purged it out. But I really want to fix this. Myself. None of my family or friends know about this and I really do not intend on telling them. Or, would it even be better to tell them? I feel like it would make things unnecessarily worse. I want to recover myself but I also don't think I have a clear mindset and clear perspective of where I am. I want to "recover" but I want to continue to lose the weight. I have never reached out for help and have never really known how. Thank you for reading, really. I've hit a low point and I can usually handle this but I'm about to break. Please help. Much love! <3
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