sleeepy Member Profile

...See more These last few years have been worst than I could have ever imagined. I am not even sure where to begin. I am emotionally drained from all of the events that have taken place over the last few years. I lost members of my family who I loved so much. The first was my grandpaw. He was the best person I have ever known and he was so loving. The next person was my brother who publicly committed suicide, and his death was all of the tv. This was two years ago, and my senior year in highschool. My family has been torn apart from this and my parents got a divorce. My dad moved far away, and I had to live with my mom who would abuse my daily, more emotionally than anything. I did seek therapy for awhile, until I left for college. Things haven't gotten any easier since. I live in constant fear and my emotions are so messed up. I also worry about my grades, since that is how I pay for college, even though I have a 3.9. I look forward to going to bed. My family had disowned me, expect my dad. He stays so busy though, and blames himself for everything. I go to a private chrisitian college, and my professors say I am just being disobedient to God since I can't control my emotions and that I must be sinning. My anxiety and depression are not something I can control, and no one understands that. I am trying to seek help, and I get told that I am a bad person for worrying. I really don't have many people who understand my feelings, other than my dad. He is amazing. I do have a doctors appointment Wednesday, so that is something to look forward to.

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