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snjulia
428 M Embraced 3
PathStep 11 Compassion hearts86 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2023 Member sinceApril 17, 2023
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Self-sabotaging in a relationship
7 Cups Online Therapy / by snjulia
Last post
 April 18th, 2023
...See more Tigger Warning!! Hello everyone! I'm Julia, 21 year old and a Nursing student from Philippines. So I'm in a relationship with this guy for more than a month now. When we were on a talking stage everything went well. But the moment we become together things went rough. I started to overthink, I became anxious. Lately I'm suspecting him of cheating even though I haven't found evidence that he is. I thought these things will passed but as time goes by I realized I'm self-sabotaging. I've been single for almost 6 years before I met him and in that years I tried so hard to protect my peace, to protect myself especially my heart. Things get tough. We are constantly fighting, disrespecting each other during argument, calling each other's some names. It got to the point that we are hurting each other emotionally and mentally. We tried breaking up with each other but we both know we can't. That's why I'm here cause I want to improve myself. Before 2022 ended I made a vow to myself that I would heal cause I'm toxic with myself. And the more toxic I am with myself I could project that onto my partner and I would just end up keep hurting me. But I'm glad cause he is being patient even though I am working with myself at the moment. I am also tired of pretending that I am happy with myself and with my life. I thought being in a relationship with him would solve all my problems but no, it didn't. Instead, I end up hurting the man I love. I know he's a good guy. It's just that I didn't let myself to have a chance to heal. I always keep on rushing things. I hope I could overcome the silent battle I have with myself.
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