sociableCucumber9407 Member Profile

...See more i can be toxic towards my bf i get so uptight and scared he’s cheating on me me, one leads to another and i’m in this hole of depression an anxiety that i can no longer cope with alone and feel like reaching out to him me and my bf have been together 2 years and he’s been the most attentive and loving man in my life i i see a future with this man but i keep spiralling causing so much tension and distress on not just the relationship but him too he has said to me he can’t cope with it anymore and will leave as it’s too much i have gone to the doctors changed my medication and they’ve put it down to my adhd diagnosis and suspected eupd this is not an excuse, i do not excuse my behaviour but i don’t know how to stop i work hard to sort it and will be good for months then it haunts me when things go too perfect ps my boyfriend has never done anything to suspect him, i have gone through his phone once during a peak of this emotion and obviously found nothing i came to him and he was loving an attentive for the first year but after a year of it coming back and fourth he became tired as anyone would im tired of being this person i hate it, i want love and this relationship and i don’t know what to do has anyone else been in a situation like this? im afraid to ruin my relationship but im afraid to get hurt i love this man with my whole heart and we have the most intense fun and love i cant let this ruin it

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