i’m struggling
i can be toxic towards my bf
i get so uptight and scared he’s cheating on me me, one leads to another and i’m in this hole of depression an anxiety that i can no longer cope with alone and feel like reaching out to him
me and my bf have been together 2 years and he’s been the most attentive and loving man in my life
i i see a future with this man
but i keep spiralling causing so much tension and distress on not just the relationship but him too
he has said to me he can’t cope with it anymore and will leave as it’s too much
i have gone to the doctors changed my medication and they’ve put it down to my adhd diagnosis and suspected eupd
this is not an excuse, i do not excuse my behaviour but i don’t know how to stop
i work hard to sort it and will be good for months then it haunts me when things go too perfect
ps my boyfriend has never done anything to suspect him, i have gone through his phone once during a peak of this emotion and obviously found nothing
i came to him and he was loving an attentive for the first year but after a year of it coming back and fourth he became tired as anyone would
im tired of being this person i hate it, i want love and this relationship and i don’t know what to do
has anyone else been in a situation like this?
im afraid to ruin my relationship but im afraid to get hurt
i love this man with my whole heart and we have the most intense fun and love i cant let this ruin it
@sociableCucumber9407
Hello, it is good that you've taken time to recognize whether behavior has caused harm especially in a relationship you deeply care about. Have you communicated with your boyfriend about what you're going through and how you're actively working on improving yourself and seeking help, and your commitment to the relationship? If you haven't yet, you should voice this. However, not all relationships are going to work out perfectly; respecting both you and your partner's needs are key. If it is too much for your boyfriend or he wants it to end, then respect his decision. Otherwise, let him know how much you are committed to keeping the relationship, even when you are working on managing your mental health challenges. It is also important to prioritize your own well-being. If it is damaging you and/or your partner's mental health, then it is not healthy to maintain the relationship in the long run. Hope this helped in any way.
thank you!
he has been aware from the beginning and i’m lucky to have someone so patient. sometimes i wish there was just a pill i can take to make it all go away
I hope your life improves ❤️
