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sociableDay3908
117 M Embraced 1
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2019 Member sinceSeptember 27, 2019
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I'm having doubts and they haunt me
Relationship Stress / by sociableDay3908
Last post
 September 28th, 2019
...See more It all started after I got a divorce from a 5-year marriage, she was caught sleeping with another man from work. She would get off work and go hang out with this guy, they would go to the movies together and the local park and have "relations" I didn't want this to end my marriage so I offered marriage therapy but she said that she loved him and that she wanted to stay with him. So immediately after divorcing I fell in love with my now fiance, the issue I'm having is we have a 6 month old boy and I stay at home with him and raise him. Right after moving in with her after my divorce, I found out that since I have been dating her she had been sending nude photos and videos to her cousin which I later found out she had performed oral on before we met. So I forgive her and several more times throughout our relationship I find her messaging other guys and then attempting to hide the evidence. It's been 2 years now and since I'm at home alone all day until around 9 p.m. sometimes even later until she gets home. I do my best not to be controlling but it's so hard when you've been cheated on, and she has a new guy on her team at work. She comes home talking about him laughing and reciting the jokes he told her at work. Even at one point he convinced her to lie to me in order to get something from me saying it was for someone else. I can't help but lay in bed depressed with extreme anxiety scared she's going do it again. We've had many talks since her last time doing it and I feel like I'm being overly cautious. But every time I get this gut feeling and ask to go through her phone, I end up finding something. I'm more then willing to let her go through mine, mine doesn't even have a lock on it. And lately since she's been working with this guy everyday my anxiety takes a hold of me and this gut feeling of her doing something wrong keeps me awake for days straight. Whenever I told her that I was leaving with our son to be with another girl (which I made up) she told me okay go right on ahead just make sure you feed the baby. That wasn't what I wanted, I only said it because I wanted her to feel like she's losing me and it backfired because now I feel like I'm losing her.
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