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starrydaze
1 371 M Embraced 3
Starry-eyed & dazed <3
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts52 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes31 Current upvotes31 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2026 Member sinceJune 25, 2024
Bio

Learning to make peace with my depression, anxiety, trauma & mistrust 🌌

Black Female Bisexual African with ADHD living in the UK

Recent forum posts
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Dark Side of Hotness 🥀
General Support / by starrydaze
Last post
 June 26th, 2025
...See more I wish more people understood just how isolating & frustrating it can be, to be a very attractive young woman. Everyone thinks life is a fairytale for someone like me but in truth, life is terrifying because everyone only ever sees & wants to get to know their own idealised version of you in their head which makes dating exhausting while you’re also trying to weed out genuine good girl-friendships and honestly I have been struggling so badly with that. From my previous posts, I mentioned cutting off friends & I had to do the same this weekend with the only close friend of mine that I had left after realising just how much she slyly sabotages me, brings up embarrassing *** to other people about me but she’ll ask it as a question as if she didn’t already know everything & then I realised that she will just talk *** about me behind my back (thanks to other people accidentally letting things slip) but she will never ever bring it up with me! On top of that, my boyfriend has stopped complimenting me for MONTHS and I’ve noticed how irritated he gets with me for other men staring which is ridiculous & I do have a lot of thirsty men always in my comments but I only ever respond to the girls & the gays so idk why he chooses to punish me for an act I’m not even entertaining and then he won’t speak to me for days & he’ll dismiss everything for his autism which I can understand it explains his behaviour & mannerisms (he is a high-functional autistic man) but not for everything. I’m even being stalking online by at least two men and my boyfriend hasn’t even reacted or responded to the concern I feel, never mind giving reassurance. The jealousy from friends & relationships over me looking so damn good is insane and I genuinely hope people take this more seriously instead of rolling their eyes, believing my issues aren’t real enough to be worth giving a damn but whatever I’m just so so sad & so so angry but mostly so incredibly heartbroken & it’s getting harder every day for me to confide & connect with other humans when I truly don’t see the point
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Waves of pain + numbness
General Support / by starrydaze
Last post
 November 27th, 2024
...See more I’ve lost all my friends, enddd my relationship a few hours ago with a man I used to refer to as my husband (not even engaged, I just wanted to spend my forever with him) and I’ve also lost like half of my family because they do juju stuff and act so sus and I’d rather not be involved anymore and I’m also still processing the SA case that happened to me a year ago and i’m trying to find a new job and everything is just too much. I get waves of absolute rage and then overwhelming feelings of sadness and pain before I eventually settle into a somewhat blissful period of numbness and I’m trying so hard to focus on myself and block out all noice but instead I end up paralysed and rotting in bed, smoking 🍃 to try and cope with everything going on and move on but I just can’t I can’t trust anyone
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Stay with my LoveBomber???
Relationship Stress / by starrydaze
Last post
 June 26th, 2024
...See more i want my boyfriend to feel excited to text me rather than just scrolling on his phone? I don’t mean when we’re in person, I mean when we’re apart… I get so happy and excited to message him back and he says he hates being on his phone but then he’ll tell me how he’s been scrolling on *** for ages or just using his phone in general to seemingly do everything but text me. Its only when I tell him that I’m going to sleep or going out that he’ll finally respond back quickly and it’s very annoying because of how he used to chase me constantly when our relationship was new. Like he’d spam me on *** with the sweetest and romantic reels, he’d intentionally press the “Notify Anyway” button when my phone was on Do Not Disturb to catch my attention and he would frequently declare his attraction to me or reciprocate my affection via text but now he doesn’t do any of that anymore and I feel like I just got lovebombed He’s been through a lot in his childhood growing up so it makes me think that he’s developed an avoidant-attachment as if I try and address his lack of affection (only via text btw/in person, he’s quite lovey-dovey but I hardly see him in person these days so text is the only way I can connect with him) he gets very defensive and starts talking about how he’s been so stressed with his new job or with moving house soon and his elderly dog passed away recently so it’s not helping even more so I try to be understanding especially because of his dog though I’d just like some kind of reciprocation because I’ve barely felt it even before his dog passed away so idk what to do anymore because he’s met all of my extremely high standards initially and our futures are the exact same thing so it’s hard to decide to move on to someone else but is that really the best option at this point? Will I cause myself more disappointment and confusion or is it really best just to let go?? Even after he’s lost his dog????  Idk 
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