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sunnyCup3757
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PathStep 2 Compassion hearts42 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2026 Member sinceJanuary 12, 2026
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I miss him
Trauma Support / by sunnyCup3757
Last post
 January 28th
...See more Sometimes it’s not that I want company. It’s that I don’t want to feel this way with myself. I lost a friend in a violent way, and since then I don’t always know how to live. There are days when simply existing feels difficult, like being here, taking up space, is too much. Like I’m still living in survival mode instead of peace. I miss him. More than I know how to say. And sometimes I fantasize about everything I would tell him if he were here: the small things, the questions I never asked, the stories we never got to live. It’s strange to think I could have had a different life. A life where he was still here. I thought I had left that impostor feeling behind, but it comes back. And when it does, everything narrows down to the same thought: that I’m a bad person, that something in me is wrong. Even when I know it isn’t true. I’m not that. I’m just tired. Tired of carrying what’s left after a tragedy, of doubting myself, of feeling like I have to justify my existence
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