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sunnyShip6354
2 428 M Embraced 3
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts38 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes13 Current upvotes13 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2026 Member sinceApril 30, 2018
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Can’t eat, can’t sleep, don’t know how to cope
Relationship Stress / by sunnyShip6354
Last post
 May 7th
...See more Hi everyone, I’m going through a pretty bad breakup now (F, 27). To make things easier here are some key notes: -my ex (M, 30) was very lustful throughout our entire relationship -it would have been our 3 years anniversary this month -he was still keeping tabs with his exes on socials and immediately followed them all back when we broke up previously the night of which I found weird since he manually looked them up -even though there was betrayal, I still loved him and cared for him deeply -he spoiled me with gifts, , paid for most of the groceries -when arguing, it would sometimes get toxic with yelling or cussing, or him leaving the room to cool off for hours and then our day is ruined -got a tattoo with my full name on it (think maybe out of guilt as this was after i broke up with him after the lack of trust) -i cried myself to sleep a lot of nights throughout our relationship and he only sometimes came to me to try to talk but only when i said he should try to do that instead of ignoring me and gaming -we were fighting almost everyday for the last 6months of our relationship -he owns the home and I am the one who has to leave -I am still currently living with him while I am apartment hunting at the moment -he got a vasectomy for me since we both didnt want kids and i could get off of birth control -supported me financially with bills -we are still on the same phone line since we got a good deal of a buy one get one free line and our phones paid off but a 2 year contract (started last year) -i did all of his hobbies and now I feel like I don’t really have any besides the ones he introduced me to(fishing, gaming, riding motorcycles) -we haven’t made any friends together since we have moved with each other or have been with each other Anyways, I’m having a hard time doing day by day activities. I see him everyday and it hurts even more. Why can’t my mind remember how I was feeling sad everyday while IN the relationship with him? We knew we couldnt marry each other with the way things were going. After that conversation it ended our relationship right then and there. I cried and we hugged it out. My mind keeps asking, “why couldnt he just treat me better, or keep other women out of our relationship?” So many whys and if onlys… it doesn’t help that I work from home either so I see him in the mornings before he leaves to work and after. I have no friends or family in the city we moved in together. We were each others best friend practically. I tried joining local new friend groups in my city to meet new people but all the people i have met either are too busy for me or a one time meet up kinda thing.. looking for apartments and starting all over from scratch is do hard and frustrating. I try to get as much outsidr time as I can to get my mind off things but im running out of ideas to do by myself, and without spending too much money just to cope. We broke up a few times before while living together but would get back together usually a few days or a week after. I think my mind is thinking that was a possibility again, but no, this time he said he is done done. I mean, I should feel the same way too knowing everytime I looked at him I instantly thought about all the women and betrayal he did. Why is it do hard to focus on the bad now that I am out of it? I think him spoiling me, having his own home, sharing hobbies, i took for granted but also, I know theres other people out there that have all that AND will treat me with respect so why is it so hard to detach? Its hard to move out fast while im searching for an apartment with pets of my own, but I’m trying. Eating, and going out and doing things to keep me distracted has been super hard. One moment I feel okay, then the next I feel like I am having a panic attack. I started going to the gym but I can only be there for so long. I try going to the beach but even my mind races randomly there too. Im trying to force myself to detach from him everyday while still seeing and talking to him (only when necessary, we barely talk though). I feel so sad, lost, and terrified of what my life will be like now without him. My family is shocked since we just moved into his new home together only a year ago, and his family groupchat with me is now silent. Everything just sucks right now and I don’t know how to cope. I have no one to talk to. Seeing him in the home when we do talk makes me feel like he is doing just fine without me, but I wonder if he is okay too. Has anyone been through similar? How to cope on the daily? He is also my only friend on *** (he got me into the app) and now everytime i open it up i see his updates. He would definitely notice if i unfollowed, especially while still living with him. Why am i focusing on all these little things when the bigger picture of it all was knowing we wouldnt work out long term anyways if we were to stay together. Everyday I asked myself while in the relationship, “why did he choose her, why did he do this, am I really going to ever get over this?”, and knowing i couldnt marry someone that gave me all these daily thoughts. But now those thoughts are hard to find now that we are no longer together. Knowing he has it good with a new home, new car, new raise from a job, thinking he will probably just move on quickly agter i am gone. Meanwhile I have to find an apartment and try to get approval, having animals of my own, having to find another job. I apologize that this thread is so long but I just need a friend, someone to talk to, any advice, tips, motivation… ❤️
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My partner watches adult films knowing how I feel about it
Relationship Stress / by sunnyShip6354
Last post
 March 15th, 2024
...See more Okay so to make this short, one time I surprised my partner by visiting them at their house (we live separate and in different states) anyways, I saw the good ole large lotion bottle next to their bed. I made a joke about it but then later told them to throw it out because I knew what they were doing with the lotion next to the bed (they even admitted). Anyways, my partner has never had someone tell them to stop doing that even though they have been watching adult films for years. I trust my partner but this one thing bothers me. Few months pass by and my partner gets another large bottle of lotion claiming it is dry and cold outside so they are getting cracked skin etc. …. Now I don’t want my partner thinking I’m crazy but I can’t help but to think they are at it again with the lotion when I am not there? I mean there isn’t really a way to tell if someone just totally stopped cold turkey after years of doing it right? So I guess I just don’t know what to think or how to overcome this as it makes me not want to give the affection I want my partner to have from me… any advice? Would love to hear both sides to your situation similar if you guys have any..
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Is wanting a traditional role in a relationship bad?
Relationship Stress / by sunnyShip6354
Last post
 February 1st, 2024
...See more So my boyfriend and I have been together for little less than a year and things are good. The one thing that stresses me is that I’ve always liked a more traditional role a man plays in a relationship. Example would be paying for our dinner dates, planning things for us, etc. that is just what I am used to and what I personally prefer. I don’t think there is a right or wrong to any relationship and their dynamic but this is just what I prefer. Anyways, he prefers to split almost every bill. He says he does not make a lot of money so I don’t pressure him or mention anything. He says he wants to save up so we can move in together(also assuming we are splitting rent). He speaks of marriage and all sorts but I just can’t see myself marrying someone that isn’t the traditional manly man that I envisioned. I want to bring this up to him and be super honest. I am really bad with confrontation and don’t know what to do or how to say things. some more context: recently I told him I would love flowers from him once in a while and he bought me flowers the weekend after. I wish he would want to do these things on his own if that makes any sense. Same with the whole situation above, which is also another reason I’ve been hesitant to bring it up. I’m thinking if he wanted to he would? Any advice would be appreciated…
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My partner has Erectile Dysfunction and I feel lost
Relationship Stress / by sunnyShip6354
Last post
 December 26th, 2023
...See more So to keep things as short as possible, my partner has E.D, and we’ve been together for months. It has been this way before we met he says. Apparently years. Anyways this has been a bit of a struggle for our intimacy so he went to see a doctor. Doctor told him he needs to speak to a therapist or counselor for anxiety and depression. My partner has also been watching adult films for years but I am sure he didn’t tell the doctor that as he feels embarrassed about it. I also told him it makes me feel that it ties into the E.D. a little as I feel I am not good enough. Every time we become intimate it never leads or ends anywhere. Versus when he is on his own with adult films everything is working fine… anyways you get the point of this I’m sure…I love my partner but I’ve never been with someone who has experienced this and I don’t want to put blame on him if he has no control over it. If anyone has any advice on how to navigate through this that would be helpful. I’d love to hear either side’s experience of this scenario and hear both sides. I want to be supportive but everytime we are intimate I can’t help but feel less than. Its a shame because I’ve never felt this way before. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you
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Am I overreacting ?
Relationship Stress / by sunnyShip6354
Last post
 November 27th, 2023
...See more To be straightforward: I’ve been seeing someone for a few months now and have found out in person that they watch adult films often. At first I wasn’t really too bothered as I thought maybe everyone does this so I should be fine with this. But our intimate life is not so well as I believe he might have ED… so you see where I’m going with the adult films… has anyone dealt with a similar situation? My partner said they will stop when I brought up how I was feeling, but to be honest, that itself is not really comforting. Especially after the numerous times I try to spice things up in our still very fresh relationship. Any advice?
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