sunsthetical Member Profile

...See more So let's start with how a long term dream of mine for a scholarship to work out got shattered upon even the second attempt, despite me pouring my years and efforts to make things happen. But besides that, I'm currently in a long distance relationship, no time difference, same country, she's younger than me and well, she was the one who sought this relationship before I did, I fell in love so I thought why not figure out things together? Things in fact went to *** because she's okay with going on with hours of no contact, coming back with vague details of the day or barely any. Its not even about being away for hours but the fact that I never know when it would come. Now it's not like I don't have things going on in life and despite it somehow I'm able to still make time however I feel like it's not the same on her end. I brought it ip once, she apologized, said she will change. The change being her giving updates about the day which barely felt like we communicated and much rather felt like I was a status update social platform. The only reassurance I get is that I'm loved. When earlier, she would sit with me on calls, hear me out, or write these words of affirmations to make sure I know I'm valued. Things were brilliant in the beginning, I was given extensive expressions of love and what not and now it's like I'm waiting on my crush to text me back when they see fit. I'm exhausted and she keeps feeling hurt over me never feeling reassured enough but what do I even do? I don't feel the change, I just don't. I get her life is chaotic, I try to understand it but when will there be any space there for me? Why can't I get the bare minimum of communication now when earlier she couldn't go on without calling me each day? I suggested we take a break but I was the one who folded and said I made a mistake by suggesting it to which I got told "No, you have a life outside of me" and that made me feel like ***. Because she may have said that with the lines of how she doesn't want me to end this in the same rush that I announced it to later regret but it felt like a slap across the face as though, I'm the only one who can't live without the another. I keep feeling like I'm being misunderstood.

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