sweetnsassy303 Member Profile

...See more I am new here, but i have come for some advice. I went through a horrible divorce 2 years ago to my husband of 16 years. I was 19 when we married and he was 26 and a youth pastor. I didn’t realize at the time how wrong that was until he started flirting with young teenage girls a couple years ago and I started calling him out on it. Then he started saying I was crazy and imagining things. Then my anxiety and depression started acting up so I switched jobs to try to be less stressed and help more at the church he pastored at and he had told me he wanted me to come on staff and help him run his Christian school. All of a sudden he changed his tune and said I’d think everyone was flirting with him and he didn’t want me working at his church. He went to a conference and refused to talk to me and when he came back, he packed his bags and moved out. I later found out he had been running around with one of the teachers at his school behind my back. He ended up getting fired from the church, but I was devastated and was made to agree to 50/50 custody with no child support, or he said he could prove I was crazy and take full custody of my kids. Now, thankfully, i got my original job back and i have a wonderful boyfriend who is very patient with me, but i am dealing with a lot of abandonment issues. I am seeing a counselor who is having me read the book I hate you, don’t leave me, which is all about borderline personality disorder. She also says my ex is a narcissist. I am doing a great job understanding what a narcissist is and how to get over and deal with my ex, but I’m so worried I’m going to run my wonderful new boyfriend off due to my abandonment issues and self sabotage. i get jealous when he looks at girls or says that an actress is cute but mainly because my ex didn’t do those things and he still cheated on me. It makes my boyfriend feel like i don’t trust him because he’s never had a girlfriend say he has checked out anyone too much before. I feel like I’m driving him crazy! How can I be a better girlfriend? He is doing better. Not looking near as much. Telling me he loves me for me. He tries not to trigger me, but I still get triggered. How do I stop getting unintentionally triggered over stupid stuff? He says he feels like he’s walking on egg shells and I don’t want that by any means and I don’t want to lose him! He says he wants to marry me someday but he wants me to work through some of these issues first. How do I?

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