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tallCup6582
9 4,494 M Seeking Light 6
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts332 Forum posts69 Forum upvotes203 Current upvotes203 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2026 Member sinceAugust 2, 2026
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I don't know how to live with the fear that comes with having senior dogs
35 & Over Community / by tallCup6582
Last post
 September 7th
...See more I am so grateful for 7cups for all the replies I got in my first post. It really helped me in my journey when I lost my 17 year old dog and also dealing with the health issues of my second oldest dog (14).  I often wondered why despite having experienced more than 10 pet losses in my age of 40, why is it that it still feels like the first time. I think the answer is the more I experienced it, I gained more knowledge about it and because I realized the possibilities of how it could happen, I got more aware of the possibilities of it whereas before I was kind of experiencing it for the first time with little knowledge and experience. I hope I am making sense. Now, it feels like I am walking on eggshells when it comes to their lives. I am terrified of the possibilities. I am extremely terrified. I love them most in this world. If I can do it all over again, I would not adopt pets. I'd rather I didn't discover this type of love. I don't think I am mentally equipped for this. I don't think I am emotionally equipped for this pain either. I found where the listener tab and support group tabs are, but I realized I am not only shy in person, but also online even though I am not facing anyone physically. People are also chatting there and I don't know if anyone could just join in. It's important I get over my shyness first. I am still living in fear with my dog's health condition. I am trying my best to be independent about the mental and emotional challenges that come with it, but it is getting heavy and dark again and the distractions are not working that much again. I don't know how to live with this depression and anxiety. I am a content and grateful person despite my life being far from perfect, but I am so terrified. I know I am not normal anymore, but I also need help to manage this.
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I have no one to talk to and I'm not sure many can relate to what I am going through.
35 & Over Community / by tallCup6582
Last post
 August 8th
...See more I am not sure if I am okay with what I am doing and I am not very techie. I am a bit overwhelmed being new in this forum. I decided to join today because my depression and anxiety is draining me everyday. I am so depressed and so anxious. I am physically exhausted too. I have no one to talk to. I have no friends and my family (parents and sister) do not get what I am going through. My 17 year old dog passed away 2 weeks ago. I got physically, mentally and emotionally drained with everything. I tried my best, but in the end old age and cognitive dysfunction took him from me. We had the burial and service on Tuesday. Come Thursday, I needed to take my other dog also a senior (14) to the vet because her appetite worried me. She had an infection and her SDMA was high so she was prescribed an antibiotic and a supplement for the kidney. A week later, her infection got higher and the vet changed her antibiotic. Since I cannot crush the tablet, I need to go to the vet everyday so the assistant can give it to my dog. We are on day 2 on the new antibiotic and my dog's appetite is worse than when all this began. I am exhausted from worry. I find myself wide awake at 3:45 am last night. I don't have the strength anymore. I want to live someone else's life instead. It's like I'm living, but I'm not alive. I don't know what to do and I feel so weak from everything. 
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