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tarfiesparkles
64 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts5 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 1970 Member sinceFebruary 1, 2015
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Social Anxiety/Feeling Worse
Anxiety Support / by tarfiesparkles
Last post
 February 2nd, 2015
...See more Hi, this is really weird for me because I've never really publicly talked about my anxiety before. I've never talked to my parents, sister, or anyone about it. To be perfectly honest, I'm even kind of scared to start a chat with a listener on this website because having a immediate back-and-forth with someone about my issues kind of freaks me out for some reason.  I'm a college student going to a school far away from home, so as far as my family knows I'm doing 100% ok because they're not around. Academically I'm doing fine and it isn't my first year here so I've made some friends. I've always been shy and have gotten anxious around people I don't know well so my first year here I forced myself to do some things that I probably normally wouldn't have because I didn't want to be stranded far from home without any friends. I actually ended up joining a sorority, which has been going ok, even leading me to meet some other people I would call my friends. But this year I feel as though things have taken a turn for the worse. My friends within my sorority have left to study abroad and I feel like there is no one I can really talk to. Classes were hard last semester so I kind of didn't take part in as many sorority activities, so I haven't been around much. I live in the sorority house and it honestly just makes me feel terrible because I don't feel comfortable around anyone and my anxiety stops me from doing lots of things. I don't even join everyone to eat meals because I just feel so uncomfortable even going downstairs to interact with everyone while eating, so I typically stay in my (single) room. My closest friends I've made here are not in this sorority and live across campus, so even escaping to go see them is something that happens infrequently. I really just don't like going out and drinking all that much unless it's with people I feel very safe and comfortable with, which seems to be the main social bonding activity with the girls in my sorority and I can't bring myself to go out with any of them. I feel like my withdrawn behavior has sort of given me a reputation as being anti-social and weird, making it more difficult for me to approach people. It's really been making feel worse lately. So yeah. Not really sure what kind of help I'm seeking,  but I just really needed to get that off my chest.
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