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thatunknownngirl
118 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2021 Member sinceApril 1, 2021
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Cheating Husband?
Relationship Stress / by thatunknownngirl
Last post
 April 3rd, 2021
...See more My husband and I have been together for about 4 years, we have an almost two years old, and its been rough moving for the first time together. We've been fighting a lot more, he never seems satisfied or seems like I'm worthy enough of his time. Since we got together it's always been a competition for his attention, but anything and anyone would come before me, now me and our son. It's been an issue I assumed I resolved the last time he chose his friends over me, that doesn't seem to be the case though. It's always something or someone that is more important, or gets more attention. His friends wanna go out and drink, He's there, he gets a call to play games, He's on them. We haven't had a date night in over a year because he is always around or talking to his friends. Moving here was hard on me, we just moved in January, where I had to leave my amazing and reliable job, and all of my friends and family, to move here. Its a new start and I had hope that both of us starting fresh would help our marriage. boy was I wrong.. I recently noticed a change in behavior, He's been more distant, He's leaving the house more, He's more angry then usual, (he's always had anger issues, and always taken it out on me) taking his phone everywhere with him, even turning it away or setting it down when I come around. Now I'm not one to sit around and let shady behavior slide, I asked him about it and he told me he made a friend and he didn't want me to overreact about it. I've never been one to tell him who he can or cannot be friends with, gender never mattered, as long as he is honest and open to me about it all, we have shared friends for the most part until he may this one. He told me it was at the beach and they started talking. It was whatever, until I asked questions. He finally let me go through his phone, after breaking down, and found out it wasn't just a friend.. She was found on Tinder, which I had no clue he had. He had been talking to her about the issues he has with me, how he hopes he and I dont work out, and even asked her for a shot "when" the divorce happens "if" it does. There's a lot more they talked about, but the important stuff I mentioned. The conversation between the two of them had only lasted a week before I put an end to that. We had a long and hard discussion about what was going on, how I felt about the situation and how I see it as cheating, my husband,on the other hand, does not. He feels sex is the only way one can cheat. For the sake of my son, and my hopes and love for this guy, he told me he regrets it and really wants to work and fix us, He's been home more and handing me his phone whenever it goes off (I didn't ask him to) so I want to believe that it can get better, but things are still rough. I have little trust now, when I had given him nothing but full trust from day one. This brings me to my feelings of insecurities and being worthless to him. I'm at a loss of what I should be doing, or if I'm naive to think that I can get over this wave of depression from him cheating on me. I want to hope that can pick up the pieces and fix it. How would I go about expressing my need to be put first in the relationship? How do I tell him I need a little bit of time to process and get over the cheating..? He wants to bounce back and act like nothing happened between us, and it's harder for me to do that. I need advice.
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