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tidyKiwi6106
1 856 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 13 Compassion hearts58 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupTeen Last activeMarch, 2026 Member sinceJanuary 10, 2026
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If only I told my mom (TW SA)
Trauma Support / by tidyKiwi6106
Last post
 January 10th
...See more I’m 14 and a girl, my abuser was also a woman. I was 11 she was 14. I am straight. It’s confusing when I say this but it’s true. I was bullied for a long time and struggled with insecurities and suicidal thoughts. She was the only person I felt heard from. She was my only friend. Then she started introducing sexual things to me and would FaceTime guys with me in the room. That’s all it was at first. Then she started getting closer and telling me about being bisexual. I thought oh well i think she is pretty and she’s kind so maybe im bisexual too(im not). So I told her that i thought I had feelings for her, and then we kissed. I thought that was love. As the months go by she gets more and more intimate. And started saying oh stick ur tongue in my mouth, or grab my *** and I would obey because I didn’t want her to leave. She would sometimes pin me down and grab my ***. We would sleepover all the time and i didn’t even realize I was being groomed. I also don’t know what grooming was at the time. One day I touched her thigh and she freaked out and said that I SAed her and a bad person. She did that stuff to me so I thought it was okay. She never said to stop. We stopped talking ofc and she turned the only other friend I had against me and we didn’t speak for two years. After that I told my mom and she explained what grooming was and how if I had came to her sooner she could’ve stopped it. I wish I did. I attempted on an old shelf a little while after and my abuser stopped talking. The shelf broke and I lied to my parents saying that it just fell. Luckily they believed me. My dad still doesn’t know what happened and I have no proof to show the police if I were to press charges. It would be my word against hers. That’s all I really remember, Ik more happened but I just can’t remember. I tried but can’t, my mom said that it was a trauma response and I have gone to her before about it. It’s been my deepest darkest secret for years. I haven’t told more then 4 people. I’m still afraid to leave my house sometimes because she’s also my neighbor. If anyone has any suggestions on how I can recover I would appreciate it.
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