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toughNectarine2707
876 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 6 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 1970 Member sinceApril 13, 2015
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Attachment Anxety
Anxiety Support / by toughNectarine2707
Last post
 May 9th, 2015
...See more   While searching through the Self help guides section, under the subject of loneliness, I have discovered the attachment anxiety guide and for me,that was really helpful in understanding what I deal with. They explain the three different types of attachment anxiety. I have, what is called, Attachment avoidance. These are the characteristics.  Characteristics of attachment avoidance include: Struggling with the small talk needed to start new relationships, but being able to relate when there is a clear task or topic of discussion Difficulty asking for and receiving help from others, particularly emotional help to calm down when upset Feeling excessive pride when competent and unwarranted shame following failure Wanting to share oneself with others but not knowing how Rushing to problem-solve and give solutions before accurately understanding what the other person’s experience and problem is Thinking of relationships with parents as generally good, but being unable to remember sufficient details to accurately reflect the complexity of one’s history Withdrawing from others in times of need due to feeling it burdensome or irritating if others want to help-inadvertently hurting those who want to help Focusing excessively on proving that one is correct in times of conflict Ending relationships too quickly Trying to solve loneliness by focusing excessively upon work, tasks, goals, and material success Feeling lonely due to one’s difficulty being vulnerable with others. I fix just about all of the listed things. Now, that I know that there is a name for it, a proper name, I don't feel so alone, like I am the only one experiencing what I am.  I use to just say that I am an introvert, anti-social (out of text), shy, quiet, or a loner. Not that those things aren't true, but those thing do not properly explain my characteristic and are easily misunderstood.  Now I know more about the type of social anxiety that I have. When I was younger, I was slightly nervous and gittery while talking to others and socializing, but as I got older, I am not like that. I won't say anything. If I am standing in a group, I will maybe say a few words, but that's it. I avoid talking and sharing my thoughts and feeling with others out of the fear that it won't be valued or respected. I detach myself very easily from people, including my own family and friends. Especially if they did hurt me.  And through this, my past is starting to unravel things that contributed to this anxiety. Things that I knew where there and I honestly would find myself thinking of them often, but for some reason I could not connect their significance or relevance to my struggles today. I have Anxiety, depression and loneliness, which has led me to dark avenues like poor self image and insecurity about my body and my intelligence. It sounds crazy to have all of these things, but to now see that they are all in one; that they are connected together, really is a huge breakthrough for me.  I highly recommend doing the self-help guides, hey have been the most beneficial thing for me on this site.   
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How i found 7cups
Newbie Hub / by toughNectarine2707
Last post
 April 14th, 2015
...See more I researched for a place like this. I have been battling with being depresses on and off for many years. I use to think that I was abnormal and never told anyone, not even my family or friend what I was experiencing out of shame. As time went on, I realized that I want to seek help for this. I am not in the position to afford counseling or therapy, which is very pricey. I was glad to find a place that is willing to provide such a need for whoever is out there without making them worry about a dime. It can hurt to keep everything bottled up inside without having the confidence to trust anyone with your struggles. 
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