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turquoiseClementine1750
293 M Embraced 2
PathStep 10 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2019 Member sinceMay 8, 2018
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Am I even depressed?
Depression Support / by turquoiseClementine1750
Last post
 June 14th, 2018
...See more Sometimes I dont even know if I have depression. I dont know why Im so concerned with labeling it, but its been giving me anxiety. I google the symptoms, and it says that theyre constant, but mine last for one or two days and then Im okay again and then Im back to not feeling okay. I dont know what triggers the bad moods; just out of nowhere I feel nothing and hopeless, and I dont want to get out of bed. My therapist already ruled out bipolar disorder. Is this all just something Im making up in my head? Is it normal to have feelings of okay/happiness every now and then only to have it disappear? Some days I really feel like Im okay, but then the next day Ill wake up with this gray cloud everywhere. Its like Im waiting for someone to say, you have depression. Like some kind of validation that Im feeling this way. Because if its not depression, then what is this feeling? I also feel this dissonance within myself. Like I want to get better, and I obviously reached out for help, but at the same time its comforting to feel that depression. Like it makes me just want to stay in that and not get better. That sounds crazy because of course I want to get better, and I shouldnt feel this way, yet here I am.
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