turquoiseKite1550 Member Profile

...See more One of the hardest things with loneliness is that it’s not seen as a big deal from the outside looking in. I’ve not really been ‘dealt a bad hand’ in life per se, but I have really got unlucky when it comes to people. I was always ok for friends in school, but then I moved house and lost a lot of my friends. I never really made any new ones, and this period of my life was when I first started feeling the effects of it. It makes you start to believe that you are a problem and there’s something wrong with you. I tried to take my own life when I was 19 with a drug overdose, the only people in my life that know about this is my therapist and one of my very few good friends that (ironically) died of an overdose last year. No matter how well I explain or try to turn my life around a bit, I’m usually met with ‘just get out there’ or something similar. If only it was that easy! I must admit it is comforting (in a weird way) to see lots of other people suffering from the same thing. All in all, not having anyone in your life that you truly ‘get on with’ and loves you for who you are, makes life meaningless. I’m 22 now, but as the years go on I’m starting to believe that I am just one of the unlucky ones that have to accept this complete social isolation. It sounds stupid but it feels like a burden that’s impossible to lift, I either suck as much joy as I can out of a mundane life or die. Im not even sure if people read this, I just like venting sometimes and putting my thoughts onto a page. I’m sure it’s said all the time, but I’m honestly just a regular half decent guy that just wants to have friends and be happy. I guess it’s impossible for that to be guaranteed for everyone.

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