turquoiseleech7247 Member Profile

...See more Hey, I just wanted to put this out there. So, I'm 20 years old, and it wasn't until last year that I really began to question my gender identity. I grew up in a religious household, and as a result I never questioned my identity because I guess i felt like I didn't have a choice either way. I was a girl, a tomboy, maybe, but I was still a girl. Turns out, maybe I'm not quite as cishet as I thought I was? I have recently been trying they/them pronouns, and they're pretty cool. I go by a more neutral name on some of my social media accounts, and that's cool, too. But... I dunno, I feel wrong for questioning my identity at all. What I mean is, I only have minor dysphoria. Other people have it so much worse than me, you know? And I'm just now questioning my gender, but if I really was nonbinary or trans or whatever, then I should have known about it sooner, like in early childhood and not adulthood. I almost wish I could just forget the whole they/them thing and just accept that I am female. Wouldn't it be easier that way? But I cant stop thinking about it. My brain wont leave me alone about it. "Ever since you got that short haircut, people have been looking at you differently." "If you wear two sports bras instead of just one, maybe you wont have to hunch so much at work." "Why did you put eyeliner on today, arent you supposed to be trying to look more masculine?" "Why even bother with the sports bras if you're gonna wear skinny Jeans that show your hips?" "It's almost like you're just doing it for attention, huh?" Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels like they fake everything about themselves. At this point, I cant even tell if I'm faking it or not, and I dont know where to go from here. I'm just...tired.

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