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unassumingPlane9195
1 2,138 M Hopeful Heart 3
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts60 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2026 Member sinceDecember 1, 2024
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Just gone through a medical abortion and feeling the need to share.
Grief & Loss / by unassumingPlane9195
Last post
 July 7th, 2025
...See more I initially wrote a very long post as I had the need to spit it all out, unfortunately I am unable to post it as I keep getting a message I might be in crisis - despite trying not to include any trigger words and rewriting it, which is really frustrating as I really do feel the need to share the full story. I have recently gone through a medical abortion and grieving my unborn baby. The pregnancy was unplanned, but the baby wasn't unwanted by myself nor my partner, it is just that our current situation wouldn't have been ideal. I am feeling guilty as there are people in a way worse position than us, but for me a healthy family unit is important and it was too much of a risk to take. I feel like I have lost a part of myself and all I want is to hold my baby's hand, hold it in my arms. The whole experience has made me somehow baby-brained, at least for the moment, I understand hormones are still playing a huge role here but actually when I was pregnant I felt depressed and negative about both keeping it and aborting it, scared that we wouldn't have managed, but right now that I am not pregnant and feel physically better and not so clouded by pregnancy hormones, I wonder how much being unwell from pregnancy affected my final decision. The fatigue I felt while pregnant was unbearable and all I could do was sleep. I think I need to write a letter to my future pregnant self, when I eventually have a planned baby, because I felt I couldn't manage work or anything else, and that I wouldn't ever be able to take care of a newborn feeling that way. I wonder if being pregnant made me depressed and that is why I eventually terminated and it makes me wonder how many women actually terminate for that reason and then regret it?
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