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unassumingTangerine940
138 M Embraced 1
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2023 Member sinceJanuary 17, 2023
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Trust Issues
Relationship Stress / by unassumingTangerine940
Last post
 January 23rd, 2023
...See more I'm struggling to trust my partner. We both have very stressful jobs; he prioritizes his over me and I prioritize him over mine (bad; I already know). He is avoidantly attached, I'm anxiously/ambivalently attached. I think our relationship is dying. He seems to only like me when I'm happy and only seems concerned with meeting my surface needs. As soon as I express a concern or that an emotional need I have isn't being met, he gets defensive and tells me that he likes every part of our relationship except when I bring up an issue, which he describes as "tantrums about fantasy issues." He's generally a sweet man, who can be a little emotionally dense and impatient. I'm overly deferential, clingy when anxious, and I struggle greatly with regulating my emotions. I'm trying really hard to improve my communication skills, but I feel like I'm doing all of the emotional heavy-lifting (hard to fully determine, since he doesn't communicate with me about his thoughts and feelings as openly or frequently as I do). I can't tell if I just need to say the right thing so he realizes where I'm coming from or if this man has no real interest in a future with me as an equal partner and I'm just wasting my time. I know there's no way that anyone can provide a real, comprehensive solution based on this snapshot, but any actionable advice would really be appreciated. I just want my brain back. Questions are welcome; will respond within reason. If additional context helps: * I have ADHD/ASD; general/social anxiety disorder; CPTSD; depression * Pretty sure my partner has undiagnosed ADHD, and a host of other unaddressed stuff * I've known my partner for almost 2 years, we've been dating for about 1 year * He's a university professor; I work for the government * I'm in my late 20s; he's a few years older than I am
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