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underwaterSoul4381
1 944 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts56 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2022 Member sinceNovember 24, 2021
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Personality Disorders Support / by underwaterSoul4381
Last post
 May 11th
...See more Hi guys. Thanks for being here and taking the time to read my nonsense. I'm really at a loss for how to handle this particular topic. To be honest, I've always worked hard to be accountable for my actions when things go wrong, and my fear of being abandoned means that I'll even take "responsibility" for things going badly when it wasn't a direct result of my actions or words to calm a bad situation. My point is that I don't shy away from recognizing when I've done something wrong. Honestly I do struggle severely with my sense of self-worth and I feel so much shame over choices I've made and it's all compounded by the isolation and this dark void around me that I sit in alone... My therapist says it isn't my fault that I feel and think this way. She says I'm not an object to be fixed, and that feeling things intensely and having the fears and reactions that i do are part of who i am. But I keep being told to do more therapy, get in an intensive program, feel and act differently. Is it my fault? Should I feel so much shame? I didn't choose to be borderline. Will someone accept me for the way I feel someday? Will I always need to feel shame and fight to control my feelings and urges? Can anyone please weigh in? My head is spinning:(
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