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unknowfuture712
123 M Embraced 1
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts14 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2022 Member sinceNovember 10, 2022
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Feeling hopeless about my future, while dealing with what I think is depression
Depression Support / by unknowfuture712
Last post
 November 20th, 2022
...See more I got rejected from every job because I can't talk well. The worst is my last job, at first they told me my only job is to sit there and input the data, no need to communicate with the customers (which I thought was perfect for someone like me), but only after 2 days they told me I was too quiet. I still talked to the co-workers just fine, at least that was what I thought. My mouth work slower than my brain, so when words finally get to my mouth they might already left, but if I wasn't able to talk to greet them I still bowed to greet them, so it not like I was ignoring everyone. They said they don't have time to wait for me to improve, so they kicked me out. I would rather they didn't hire me in the first place, since they already know from the beginning. My family also said it might have been one of the co-workers was trying to get rid of me, since my first day at work no one else said anything (she wasn't there that day), but the second day she saw me and said if I don't have to wear their uniform and don't have to greet the customer then I can't sit at their place or it'll affect the company's image. The others seem to listen to her, so I was force to stay in a room away from the customers with nothing to do until they call me out to input data. I was naive and follow their order. It made me look like I was playing while they have to do so many things by themself, that I can't even do anything, but in reality I wasn't allowed to do anything. After hearing what my family thought, her actions does seem suspicious, but I still don't understand, since I don't think I'm a threat for her. The boss hired me because it was too much for them to handle both greeting the customers and inputting the data, so if I was there to deal with the data then that mean less work for them, they should be happy about that. I just feel hopeless about the future. The many symtoms I have pretty much are screaming "depression" for me, but I don't even have money to save myself because I couldn't get a job, which was those symtoms are the main cause of it. So it feel like I'm in an unbreakable circle. I don't know what to do anymore.
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