usagi143 Member Profile

...See more My spouse and I have been together going on 9 years and there's one thing that has always been an issue: during an argument, I will freeze. When they yell and/or punch a wall, door, etc I freeze up and check out. I can't think straight. I detach and it makes them feel like I don't care. The yelling and punching things triggers me and they know this. When it happens, I shut down and that triggers them and I know it and so the vicious cycle continues. Today has made the 3rd time they have grabbed my arms hard enough to leave marks and bruises, not including a black eye from getting pushed last year. Today, I was bumped/pushed 3 or 4 times that resulted me hitting the fridge which bruised my shoulder. After the last push, I did slap them which probably wasn't the best reaction. I was poked hard in my chest repeatedly until it was red and very briefly they grabbed my neck. (Prob about a couple seconds it was like as soon as they did it, they realized what they were doing and let go) I'm struggling because I don't have anyone to talk to about this. I don't have close friends and even if I did, I can promise they would tell me to leave. As a Christian, I've be raised and told that ivorce isn't an option. So I'm stuck. I don't know what to do. Even if my heart was set on leaving, I have no money to do so. they pay the rent but all the other bills fall on me so I'm not able to save anything and now I wonder if that was on purpose. I'm not close to any family so I have nowhere to go. My job is remote flex so I have to be within driving distance in order to keep my job for the days I go in office but I know if I'm near them, I'm going to take them back as I have done in the past. I don't know what to do or how to fix it or what's right and what's wrong. I'm so lost.

Bio

Recent forum posts

Talk to an expert therapist

Smita is very kind and listens carefully. She has a calming aura and I am very...

Reviewed Aug 9, 2026

About Us

Get Started

Online Therapy

Terms

Bio