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versatilePapaya6213
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2026 Member sinceDecember 26, 2025
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TW: relapse
Self-Harm Recovery / by versatilePapaya6213
Last post
 December 26th, 2025
...See more TW: RELAPSE !!!! After 5 years and 9 months without self-harm, I recently relapsed. This time, however, it happened in a way I never expected. It feels heavy to admit this, especially because I had managed for so long and truly believed I was “further along.” Still, it happened, and instead of disappearing into shame and anger, I’m trying to share it here. I lost control over myself and harmed myself in a way that, until now, I didn’t even realize "counted" ​ as self-harm. For quite some time, I’ve noticed that in stressful situations, or when I feel like I’m losing control, I start pulling and scratching at my skin, mainly my fingers and neck. For a long time, I saw this as a bad habit rather than self-harm. Last night, however, it escalated completely. I became so overwhelmed that I blacked out. When I came back “to consciousness,” my entire neck was tingling. It was only when I opened my phone camera that I realized what had happened. That moment terrified me, mainly because of myself. I feel incredibly ashamed and filled with regret. After such a long period without self-harm, this relapse feels like failure, even though I rationally know that recovery is not a straight line. I’m also afraid that my mom, grandparents, or friends might see this. That fear and shame make it even harder to deal with. I’m sharing this here because I don’t want to carry it alone, and because I hope for understanding or support. If anyone has tips on how to cope with stress and loss of control without hurting myself, or can simply offer a listening ear, it would mean a great deal to me. Thank you for reading. <3 Good to know: I’ve also just taken the step to seek professional help and have submitted a request for an appointment with a psychologist.
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