Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
violetstar13
1 746 M Little Steps
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts30 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2026 Member sinceApril 6, 2025
Bio
Recent forum posts
violetstar13 profile picture
Should I stay over?
Relationship Stress / by violetstar13
Last post
 June 17th, 2025
...See more TL; DR In a great relationship for 2 years and want to stay with my partner like we used to before I moved back in with family. 22 F. Been with my partner for 2 years, about twice my age to get that out of the way. Very cared for, very supported. Slowly empowered in myself and supported in that too- I have the ability to point out damage and keep myself safe. 2 years and going. My parents found out the second night we spent together- they couldn't do anything about it, but managed to fish his number from my phone (they were on another continent) and didn't hesitate to ring him and demand I be sent home...which I was, in shock and tears. We didn't know what we were, so didn't disclose the age difference. They shifted from overseas and I moved back in, slowly trying to introduce them to what was then a brand new relationship. My partner was kind, shy even. Had their cats over at our new house, had them over for dinner, and they even helped us move our stuff. We were working up to my family, hoping that once they understood we were serious, We would sit them down and explain to them our goals. That never came. Around Christmas I let slip and it was a disaster. I spent my new years eve racked with sobs, having to be held, terrified for our future. Before I moved back in, i was practically living with my new partner. Being dropped to and from where I went, to my own place as needed, close access to public transport if i needed to go myself, money to take a cab, anything I needed. I was very independent and very much making a choice. We stopped spending nights together since I moved back in because apparently, it's an offence in our culture (new information to me, since we're neither overly religious, nor conservative).  Now I can't even talk about my partner without being spoken over, having my sentiments dismissed or trod over, faced with anger and insult. My partner has blocked my parents' numbers because every time we spent a few hours together, we'd both get calls and texts back to back, out of the blue. I cannot count how many 3 am car rides home have been spent in tears and horrible desperation. Our relationship is still strong- we want more of each other. My partner has been immensely understanding- still drops me home each time we meet, no matter how late. But it's started to get to us both and we're going crazy that I can't just put my foot down- at thwir worst, my family has said they'll kick me out, are disgusted by me and my partner, called them names and insults. Apparently I 'broke up my family' (we still all live together, get along great, are functioning well) caused them health conditions, ruined my sibling's psyche...and to top it all off, they blame my partner for how distressed this situation has made me. I've considered disappearing, many times. All this if I ask to stay over at my partner's for one night, so we can wake up together with their cats, make each other breakfast. Like we used to. I turn 22 in a day. I'm committed to spending the night but terrified of ruining my own birthday with their reaction. Should I just do it? Thanks for making it this far.
Search more from @violetstar13
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
12 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Quintet Chief Chat Strong Start Reconnect First Post Reaching out First Compassion 7 Day Streak Teammate Forum Friend
Report an issue