virmire Member Profile

...See more Hello, everyone. I'm not sure how long I've been with depression, but it's been awhile and only recently I realized how bad it affects my life. Only recently I've noticed how it shaped and continues to shape who I am. I don't have many friends and I don't see a problem with it, because I only need people who actually understand me, and that's the problem. I don't have anyone who actually understands what I'm going through. They're great people, but they simply don't get it. That makes me isolate myself in my own little world and, the more the days pass, the worse it gets. Every little thing that upsets me for no reason at all, I get extremely awful the next second and for the rest of the day. When it happens, only god knows the thoughts and feelings that appear. Today, especifically, and why I've come here to talk, is that I thought about suicide. I actually was really close of it. I'm terrified and completely alone. I got upset over something that happened (and honestly I don't even know if it did happen since my mind likes to trick trivial situations into self-blaming and such) and it got so bad that killing myself went through my mind. I don't know what to do to make myself feel anything other than awful, as I was disposable, and as if my existence is meaningless. I feel empty inside. I don't know what to do.

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